A weird sort of day...

I'm not sure how to describe the mood I'm in today. I'm sad, yet I'm happy. I'm hurting for those that are hurting around me, yet I'm glad that I am there to give comfort where it's needed.

Today marks the 10 year anniversary of my Nanny Highland's passing. I know she wouldn't want me to be sad, but I can't help but miss her so much. I am thankful for the memories I have, but sad that she didn't get to meet my twins. I know she would have adored them and they would have adored her. I tell them about her and I have pictures of her on my wall. My boys know that she is, "Nanny Highland" and I've told them so much about her.

I know Nanny wouldn't want me to be sad but I can't help but remember the night she had to go. I got the phone call that Nanny wasn't doing well and I got into my Honda and cried the whole way to the house. I was listening to a Dixie Chicks CD, wondering about what was to come that night, crying, not wanting to lose her but wanting her to be free of her ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). No more suffering. When I got to the house, she was already gone. The family sat there, together, mourning such a great loss. I don't think it really sunk in right away to Pappy or he was trying so hard to hide his sadness. It was an indescribable experience for me, having all of my aunts and uncles, my grandfather, and my dad all together, as a family, supporting each other in our sadness. The closeness, love, and comfort was sureal.

Reflecting on that night and seeing the difference in my family today is just heart wrenching. Seven years later, we had to say goodbye to Pappy Highland. He went to be with Nanny. It brings me to tears, today, that it is almost 3 years since his passing and the family couldn't be more divided. The house, that was once filled with love and the smell of Nanny's Sunday dinner now sits mostly empty. Just a few of Nanny and Pappy's possessions sit in piles on the floor. Waiting. Just thinking of it, is like mourning my losses all over again. You can't put a price on some things, no matter what their worth in money. Memories and things that Nanny and Pappy once had are now just sitting there all because the family is in disagreement. I don't like to choose sides and it's not my battle, but I can't help but be torn up inside just thinking how upsetting this would be to my grandparents.

I know I've been bad with keeping up, and I probably don't have many readers, but if there is anyone out there that's made it this far, please pray for my family. We need resolution. When the house does finally sell, we will be mourning another loss. I wish it wouldn't have to be dragged out like this, prolonging the pain.

Entertainment

I was so entertained by the squirrels in my back yard today. There is an icy coating on top of the snow and the squirrels are not heavy enough to penetrate the ice. I counted about 8 of them out there at one time.

I didn't see the hole at first, but one of them must have dug to get at something underneath. (I throw bread and other goodies out there for them.) It was so cute to see them go into the hole and "disappear". lol

Alright, I agree with what you are thinking.....I really need to get a life! LOL

Here are some pics I took. Some are darker because of the shadow cast by the house. I didn't feel like brightening them up in Photo Shop. (Shame on me!)

Quote of the day.....

Corey: "I love learning about Jesus".

*sigh* I love that he is learning so much at Good News Club and is so anxious to go.

A visit to the dentist

I had an appointment at the dentist today. I drove there, even though it is within walking distance from my house. (Too cold or I would've walked!) I am thankful that my teeth are not nearly as bad as I thought. I do, however, need to go back next week. Not for fillings or drillings. I am getting an impression of my bottom teeth done. I've been wearing a night guard on my teeth to hopefully stop the grinding/clenching. My dentist wants me to wear a "good" one and I should wear it during the day AND at night. Unfortunately, our health insurance doesn't cover this. It will cost me $150. If it works, it will be money well spent. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Lessons.....

This is not the first time that Dennis has fallen asleep sitting up. This is also not the first time that the boys piled things on him as he slept. You'd think by now he'd learn his lesson. I'm sure, once he sees this pic, he'll be more careful next time!

It seems like this past week was about lessons or learning new things.

I've learned that if you stay up late, you won't feel like waking early in the morning. (duh, you'd think I'd figured that one out by now.)

I've also learned that FaceBook is addicting and can make one stay up much later at night than they'd like to.

I'm hoping that Trevor has learned that when something just doesn't seem right about your car, you get it looked at. Dad is a "free" mechanic. Trevor neglected to say anything about his back tire not going forward. He drove the car, dragging that tire until it blew. He was without a car for 2 days until we could get it towed home and fixed. (It was the emergency brake that caused the problem).

Corey and Collin (and the rest of the tiger scouts!) have learned that scrapbooking is fun! We had a den meeting this past Wed. night and they really had fun! (So did I!)

Brad has learned patience. He had Dennis order him some things online and when we check the order status, it's on backorder. His things should be shipped by next Tues.

There are plenty more lessons to be learned, no matter what our age. I've had a few "duh" moments this past week and it makes me wonder why it has taken me so long to figure some things out that I should've already known. I think it is hereditary, since Brad usually seems to be in a world of his own as well. (poor kid doesn't know what he's in for if he turns out just like me. lol)

So, in this book of Moyer history, we have a few chapters. Who cares if they're not in order? We all know how to "dog ear" the pages! :)

WARNING: Disturbing photos in this post!

I really think Bradley needs some help in the "orgnization" department! Holy Cow! He needed me to sign some papers for school, so he pulled his binder out of his backpack to retrieve the papers. My jaw still hurts from when it hit the table. I could not believe what I saw!

Maybe because I am female, or maybe it was the Trapper Keeper I had "back in the day", but I NEVER had a binder/notebook (whatever you'd like to call it) look like his. I can remember having a folder for each subject. Every paper in chronological order, and if I didn't like my handwriting on a paper, I'd re-write until it met my standards. (I always received compliments on my handwriting, although with the invention of the computer it's hard for me to prove it now. lol)

The kids are home from school until Tuesday, so this gives us (hopefully) enough time to sort through that beast. If I do not return, please come look for me in Brad's binder. (It just might swallow me up!) YIKES!!

I can honestly say that I've never seen anything like this before in my entire life. When I asked Brad about it, he told me that one of his teacher's took it to another teacher to show them as well. Oh my!

June 27th......

I just heard it on the radio this morning!!! Kenny Chesney will be in Philadelphia on June 27, 2009. Do I have to tell you how badly I want to go? LOL I couldn't wait for Dennis to call me at lunchtime today (he calls me every day!). He's actually thinking about it!! I'm not too crazy about Miranda Lambert or Lady Antebellum but I have time to learn to deal with them until June. *wink* I requested that this time, if we do go, I want to be right up front! (I can dream, right?) Sigh.

Bruxism....

I am a grinder/clencher. I never knew there was a term for that. I did a little research tonight because it's becoming a really bad problem for me. I grind/clench almost constantly. :(

I can't give the exact date that it started, or even know how long it's been since I started, but I do remember what caused me to start. All I remember is that I was very upset and didn't want to talk to anyone. I sat quietly and it just came naturally and I've been doing it ever since. (I do know that it is well over a year now.)

When I "catch" myself doing it, I try to stop myself, only to find that seconds later, I am doing it again. It's become a real problem and I will be making myself an appt. with the dentist when I take the boys there next Monday.

I sometimes wake in the morning with my jaw "locked". I get pains in my ears and head. It's not enjoyable in the least. At night, I lie in bed and try to relax my mouth. It's almost as though my tongue is too big for my mouth (funny, it never was before). I shove my tongue against the backs of my bottom teeth and it causes suction and then I grind, and grind, and grind some more. I want to stop, I've tried to stop, but nothing seems to be working.

If anyone has any suggestions at all, I'd really love to hear them. I did a little "research" tonight, and this is what I found:

"Everybody handles excess stress differently. Some people develop an ulcer, some people develop high blood pressure, and some people grind or clench their teeth.
Stress, it's now believed, is the major cause of grinding and clenching your teeth, say dental researchers. In the past, a malocclusion (the way your teeth fit together) got the blame, and dentists would grind the teeth down, trying to readjust the bite."

"The problem with bruxism, as the habit of grinding and clenching is called, is the wear and tear on your teeth. When you grind your teeth, you can wear away tooth enamel. This can lead to sensitive teeth and tooth decay, and it can also cause damage to expensive dental work. Finally, grinding taxes the muscles and joints of the temporomandibular (jaw). Prolonged grinding may damage the jaw joint enough to cause osteoarthritis as well as bone loss in periodontal (gum) disease, although it does not actually cause gum disease."

"Teeth-grinding is thought to be hereditary. It's also related to gender: Three times as many women as men grind their teeth. Bruxism is most common in those between 20 and 40 years of age."

Yes, that's me.....to a "T".

Seven.....

Today, Corey and Collin turned seven. My "babies" are not "babies" anymore. It saddens me some but I can also remember a time when I was looking forward to them getting older. It was quite difficult when they were infants. It was tough, at times, when they were toddlers. Now, for me to say that they are seven just doesn't seem real. I won't lie, I miss my babies.

Here are 7 little facts about my boys:

Corey is:

1. compassionate
2. funny
3. always hungry
4. doing very well in school
5. a Cub Scout
6. creative
7. left-handed

Collin is:

1. daring
2. active
3. a Cub Scout
4. a little shy at times
5. doing well in school
6. funny
7. right-handed

For their birthday, they got to pick what they wanted for supper. It's funny just how alike, yet so different they can be. Corey chose Chicken Nuggets with cheese and Shells and Cheese. Collin chose Chicken Nuggets (plain), mashed potatoes, and corn. I also asked them what kind of cake they wanted. Corey chose Chocolate with peanutbutter icing, Collin chose Vanilla with peanutbutter icing.

Since their birthday fell on a Sunday this year, they will be taking cupcakes to school tomorrow. I needed 19 for Collin's class (that includes the teacher). Corey needed 20 but requested more. He wants to give cupcakes to the kids in the Life Skills class that come into his class from time to time. I love the fact that he thought of these children and how he sees them as equals. He doesn't treat them any differently, despite their disabilites. Some kids can be cruel, but not Corey. He's such a sweetheart!

Happy Birthday Corey and Collin! Remember, you will always be my babies! (Like it or not! *wink*)

Nicky's Out!!

I'm not sure exactly what time the snow started, but it was snowing when I woke up and it continued throughout the day. Snow is so pretty to look at but since I've gotten older I really don't like to be out in it for long if I can help it. I just don't like the cold! Eeek!

One thing that hasn't changed is that I love to watch the snow and I get excited to see the snow. I tell the kids to look out the window like it's their first time seeing it. I've learned that this may just be hereditary. lol My grandparents (Mom's parents) used to get their kids to look out of the window to see the snow. For many years, I can remember that everytime it snowed, Pappy Frohnheiser or Aunt Linda, and then eventually my mom once I was out on my own, would call and say, "Nicky's out". It wasn't until about 2 months ago that I found out what they were actually saying.

When my mom and her siblings grew up, they had a dog, named, "Nicky". He went on to doggy heaven. When it would snow, my grandparents would tell their kids that "Nicky's out" to get their attention and to get them to look outside to be surprised by the snow.

To this day, I still receive phone calls and I've even made some calls to family to say that, "Nicky's out". I guess it's tradition or maybe just weird, I don't know. What I do know is that I love the opportunity it gives for me to call family members. It is also a reminder to me of my grandparents. It puts a smile on my face and a warm feeling in my heart.

I can't wait (ok, maybe I can) for my boys to go out on their own so I can call them and tell them that Nicky's out.

Better late than never.....Christmas Day 2008

I won't make excuses, I wanted to post this sooner. It just didn't happen. Christmas 2008 will go down in Moyer history as one of the best Christmases ever! The boys were excited about all of the gifts they received and I was excited to see them that way. Christmas came so fast and I wish it could've lasted longer.

Santa was here!

Bradley trying to open his gift from Trevor.

(Trevor used lots of tape!)

Collin went for the big one first....

One to share!

Corey got a big truck too!

Another one to share....

Collin & his popcorn....

A gift for the whole family.

Trevor chose not to be in this pic.

I did get him playing with the family gift!

(Guitar Hero World Tour)

Every gift unwrapped....

Including Trevor's tires.

(Yes, we did get him tires. He needed them more than money in a card.)

Corey & Collin playing with the gift they got from Trevor.

Some assembly required!

A new recipe in order?

I made several kinds of cookies for Christmas. I used a different recipe for the peanutbutter cookies and they weren't quite the same as others I've baked. It was obvious that the family thought the same, since they really haven't been eating them. I don't know the expiration date on Christmas cookies, so I figured rather than have them totally wasted I'd just toss them into the yard for the animals.

Well, let me tell you, they LOVE them! I've got so many birds and squirrels dining out there right now. LOL

I'm thinking next year, if I use that same recipe, I'll put some bird seed in them!

My brave boy

Today Collin had to go to the hospital for tests to determine if he has reflux. He's been complaining that his stomach hurts quite often and at times he'd vomit. It would happen mostly in the morning and as soon as he'd say he was sick, he'd be absolutely fine the next.

We had a great nurse, her name was Donna. She told Collin everything that would happen during the test and even answered his questions about the big machines in the room. (He had an upper GI and a barrium swallow done.)

I was a bit worried that he would vomit from the barrium. It's chalky and thick and I've heard it doesn't taste good. Collin certainly proved me wrong. He took it like a champ! Donna had to leave and go to the OR, so another nurse, Heather, came in and she was just as nice. Collin even impressed the radiologist with how well he did. At times, they'd tell him to swallow, swallow, swallow like he was very thirsty. He did it! He was excited to see the black blobs on the screen which was his throat and stomach.

Collin couldn't have anything to eat or drink before the tests, so once it was done and he did so well, we went to the cafeteria at the hospital for some apple juice. We were hoping to see Aunt Chrissy there, but she had the day off. I showed him where Trevor works too. Trevor wasn't there yet, he'd get there at 11:30am. We saw Irene and she waved to us. (She's a nice lady!)

From there, we went to the gift shop where Collin requested 2 toy trucks. (One for his brother, of course). How could I say no? lol His next request was "the little gas station". Again, I bought some more junk (in 2's).

After spoiling him, I asked if he wanted to go to school. He decided he wanted to stay home. When we got home we found out that school was letting out early due to the icy weather coming. That sealed the deal! lol He couldn't wait for Corey to get home to tell him all about the tests and to show him the pics I took and to give him his prizes.

Here is my brave boy.

Donna explaining everything to Collin.

Collin wanted his picture taken to show everyone the big x-ray machine.

The lead wall that the radiologist stands behind (for his own safety).

The window that I watched from.

The tv screen that Collin could see where the barrium was going.

The barrium entering his stomach.

Collin after the tests. His lips are a chalky white from the barrium. (I love that after all of that he can still smile!)

A few hours after the tests were done, Dr. Ambani called us to let us know that the tests did not show reflux. The dr. thinks Collin's problem is due to him having a "nervous stomach" at times or that it is a psychological problem. I was hoping for answers, but relieved to know that my boy didn't have more serious problems with his stomach. We are giving him Children's Tums occassionally and we'll work on getting to the root of this problem.

Here I am again

It's late and I should be in bed. I have my sleep schedule all out of whack due to the boys' Christmas vacation. (Bad mom!)

Today was a pretty normal day. The boys were excited to tell me all about their day at school and I could only wish that they would've shown the same kind of excitement about their homework.

Collin showed me his Penn State football cards, given to him from his principal. He had lunch with him today. Collin was student of the month last month but due to weather, etc. the luncheon had to be postponed to today. Big sigh, he wasn't in trouble. lol

The boys are now learning about penguins. I was amazed by how interested they seem to be about them. They gave me lots of info and told me of several kinds of penguins. Corey even quizzed me about them! :)

Well, that's all for today. I am very tired and have a busy day planned for tomorrow.

Busy, but not too busy to celebrate!

Busy, busy day today! I really didn't get much of a chance to sit still. I woke early this morning in preparation for tomorrow. Back to school! (yay!) In between loads of laundry I took down my outside Christmas decorations, cleaned up (but didn't complete) Corey and Collin's beddroom, baked a birthday cake, and made a birthday dinner, gave the boys a bath, and picked up here and there. Whew! Tomorrow just might be a day off for me. *wink*

As I mentioned, I baked a birthday cake today. Today, my son, Bradley is officially a teen. He requested a chocolate cake with peanutbutter icing. Of course, I made the cake from scratch, a box mix just wouldn't taste the same. Bradley also got to choose whatever he wanted for supper. He chose haddock and baked potatoes.

I don't know where those 13 years have gone. I think back and remember how he used to enjoy singing and dancing to Barney. He wouldn't be caught dead watching that now. lol I worried about how he'd do when he first started school. He couldn't even hold a pencil, due to his elevated lead level from the house we lived in throughout my preganancy and until he was a yearr and a half old. It didn't take him long, and he showed us just what he could do. His penmanship hasn't changed much since that day. (Yikes, it's horrid!)

"Brad" is our "thinker". His wheels are always spinning. He thinks of things that I would never give any thought to. He is our "science boy" and really does well in that subject. You could ask him why the sky is blue and he'll tell you. lol I think the boy is brilliant. When he applies himself, he's a genius!

Brad is a Boy Scout and his plans are to go all the way and earn his Eagle Badge. I know he will succeed in that. He really enjoys scouts and has been in it from the start, as a Tiger Cub. He's looking forward to next year, when he's 14, so he can join a Venturing Crew. I'm so proud of him!

Now, when it comes to Bradley's temper....that's another story. He loves to pick fights with his younger brothers and will never let them get the best of him. No one can. He's got an answer for everything and he's always got to have the last word. He can be quite hard-headed.

Brad spends most of his time on the phone with his best friend, Blake. Those two can talk for hours. I'm glad he has such a great friend, since Brad hasn't really figured out just where he fits in. He is angered by classmates that get special treatment because of "who" they are. (I think that's his biggest peeve.)

Brad and I share a special bond. We really enjoy making parodies to songs, we love our times together, just the two of us, in the car. We are so goofy! lol We speak to each other using different accents. (Oh, we sound so bad, but laughing sounds the same in any language!)

There is so much more that I could go on and on about Brad. I love him dearly and miss the times when I could kiss all of his boo-boo's away. He won't allow me to do that anymore. I am not "allowed" to show him any kind of affection, especially in public. lol

It's getting late now and I am exhausted. I'm going to bed. Happy Birthday Bradley! I love you! (Ha! Now everyone knows!) May all of your birthday wishes come true!