Dennis went to work, Trevor and Brad went to school. I'm waiting now, for Corey and Collin to get up. It's kind of nice to have a little peace and quiet in the morning. It's a little strange, the sounds that are muffled by their activity when they are awake. I can hear that the fish tank is in need of some water. I've been neglecting it so bad. It was supposed to be put back into the dining room the weekend after the new floor was put in, but it's still in it's "temporary" home, the kitchen. The floor has been done for a few weeks now. It's a 55 gallon tank and we want to give it a good cleaning before it gets put back, a weekend job, but we've been busy every weekend since, so it hasn't been done yet. This weekend looks good, so far, but I can't have Dennis carry the tank outside to the hose. I'll have to recruit Trevor to help me so it gets done.
I'll be more anxious today, for Dennis to get home. I can't wait to hear how his day went. I'm hoping that he doesn't come home early, either with pain, or that he's been fired. I really don't like the place that he works. I know that if he is given a hard time about being off, he'll tell them exactly what's on his mind, and he may get nasty enough to make them mad.
I'm hoping that today I will hear something from Domestic Relations. It's been 3 weeks (almost 4!) since I last got a child support payment from Trevor's father. We were supposed to have a hearing, but I decided to give the jerk the benefit of the doubt, and I "continued" the hearing. I'm too nice of a person, I guess, because since I did that, I've received nothing in support. Our hearing will now be on Oct. 21st, and I won't be as nice then.
Corey just came out, and wants Cheerios. It won't be too much longer, and Collin will be up too, and my noisy, crazy day will begin! Good Morning!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
WAAAAHHHHH!
Today, Dennis stayed home from work again. He did say that the meds are helping with his back, but he's still going to take it easy, as ordered by the dr. He's going to go to work tomorrow morning, and he hopes to make it through the day with minimal pain. He's taking his meds tonight before bed, and wants to try to space them that he doesn't have to take them at work. He feels "funny" from them, and doesn't want to work or drive home like that. (I don't blame him, but at the same time, he's got to take them if he wants to get better!)
So, Dennis is feeling better, and here I am, feeling HORRIBLE!! I had a rough one today! I woke up feeling alright, got Brad off to school, and even chatted on the phone for 75 minutes with Angie. (That's a short call for us! lol) Not long after I hung up the phone, I went on the computer to check out a few things, and then it hit! I RAN to the bathroom.
I don't want to go into too much detail. (I'm sure you don't mind!) I've been having these HORRIBLE cramps in my stomach for most of the day. Around 7pm, I was very thirsty, since I didn't eat or drink anything all day. I got a glass of water, and had maybe 2 sips of it. The cramps came back! I wanted to cry! Normally, I can tolerate pain, but when I get a stomach bug, I'm a big baby! Earlier in the afternoon, I talked to Terry on the phone, and she said that her dad had the same thing this past weekend. It only lasted 24 hours for him. I'm soooo hoping that is the case for me too. I don't think I can take much more of this!
I did manage to get the dishes done today, but the rest of the house is another story. I didn't have the energy to stop the boys as they tore out most of their toys and scattered them around the house. Collin did help some and put some of them away, but he got too bored with that too quick, so hopefully tomorrow we'll be able to get it looking better in here!
I'm heading to bed now, in hopes that I will wake up tomorrow morning feeling "brand new"! I just hope that no one else in the house gets this!
So, Dennis is feeling better, and here I am, feeling HORRIBLE!! I had a rough one today! I woke up feeling alright, got Brad off to school, and even chatted on the phone for 75 minutes with Angie. (That's a short call for us! lol) Not long after I hung up the phone, I went on the computer to check out a few things, and then it hit! I RAN to the bathroom.
I don't want to go into too much detail. (I'm sure you don't mind!) I've been having these HORRIBLE cramps in my stomach for most of the day. Around 7pm, I was very thirsty, since I didn't eat or drink anything all day. I got a glass of water, and had maybe 2 sips of it. The cramps came back! I wanted to cry! Normally, I can tolerate pain, but when I get a stomach bug, I'm a big baby! Earlier in the afternoon, I talked to Terry on the phone, and she said that her dad had the same thing this past weekend. It only lasted 24 hours for him. I'm soooo hoping that is the case for me too. I don't think I can take much more of this!
I did manage to get the dishes done today, but the rest of the house is another story. I didn't have the energy to stop the boys as they tore out most of their toys and scattered them around the house. Collin did help some and put some of them away, but he got too bored with that too quick, so hopefully tomorrow we'll be able to get it looking better in here!
I'm heading to bed now, in hopes that I will wake up tomorrow morning feeling "brand new"! I just hope that no one else in the house gets this!
Monday, September 26, 2005
Could use some prayers
Dennis just got back from the ER a few minutes ago. He's been suffering from terrible back pain for at least 3 weeks or more now. He says it's only been about 2 weeks, but I can remember hearing the moans and groans for much longer. The other night in bed, I heard a loud "crack" as he moved, followed by a moan. This wasn't the first time I've heard it, either.
They did an x-ray at the hospital, and found that the spaces between his vertabrae are worn. His 5th lumbar is twisted. He was given a few prescriptions and told NO WORK for 3 days, and he's to see a chiropractor. He is to stay active, but absolutely no lifting! We're not sure how, but he will get the prescriptions, he HAS to, and he's already informed me that he won't be staying home from work. He has no more vacation days left (today he is using the last one), and there's no way we'd be able to survive a week with only a two day pay. We'll be lucky if we can get through this week as it is.
I wish there were more that I could do for him. I've been praying for him, often. He can be so stubborn, and I will continue to pray and pray that he follows the dr's orders and we are able to afford the prescriptions.
Please, keep him and our family in your prayers. Thank you!
They did an x-ray at the hospital, and found that the spaces between his vertabrae are worn. His 5th lumbar is twisted. He was given a few prescriptions and told NO WORK for 3 days, and he's to see a chiropractor. He is to stay active, but absolutely no lifting! We're not sure how, but he will get the prescriptions, he HAS to, and he's already informed me that he won't be staying home from work. He has no more vacation days left (today he is using the last one), and there's no way we'd be able to survive a week with only a two day pay. We'll be lucky if we can get through this week as it is.
I wish there were more that I could do for him. I've been praying for him, often. He can be so stubborn, and I will continue to pray and pray that he follows the dr's orders and we are able to afford the prescriptions.
Please, keep him and our family in your prayers. Thank you!
Sunday, September 25, 2005
It's been almost a week!!!
I told myself that I wouldn't do this! I wanted to keep up with this, but I've been so busy and so tired lately. I'm tired right now. I'm so tired of being tired!
Yesterday was a long day. I took some things to Chrissy's for her garage sale. I didn't do too bad, I really didn't have that much stuff, and I made $50. I got up earlier yesterday morning than I normally get up during the week. By the end of the day, I was exhausted!
This morning, I was up early again. I talked to Chrissy about going to church with her, and she said she'd call me back later that night to let me know what time she'd be leaving and if we'd drive together, etc. I never got the call. Little did I know, Trevor had the phone in his room and was using it most of the night. She tried calling, but didn't get through. Ugh!
I got up this morning, long before my alarm was set to go off. I couldn't sleep. I thought for sure that Chrissy would call me in the morning. I wasn't afraid that I wouldn't get up in time, I've been having a lot of trouble with sleep lately. Mostly because Dennis wakes me often. He doesn't mean to do it, but he moans and groans in his sleep. He's been having terrible back pain for weeks now, and he doesn't do anything about it. I don't want to think about it, but my mind always thinks the worst. What if it is something more than just back pain? He has one vacation day left, and he's talking about taking it tomorrow, and going to the dr. or ER. (He doesn't have the money to go to the dr. so he'll go to the ER and be billed). I have been, and continue to pray that it is something that can be treated with meds and/or therapy, or something. I hate to see him in so much pain.
Anyway, I got a little side-tracked there!
I was up and ready to go this morning. I called Chrissy around 8 am, but got her machine! I figured she was either in the shower, or changed her mind about going. I knew that she'd be helping my Aunt Linda the night before, and I thought maybe it took longer than she would've liked, and she was up too late and decided not to go. I left a message and told her to call me before 8:30 am if she was going. Any later than that, and I didn't think I'd be able to make it.
Finally, at 8:50 am, she called, and by then, it was too late. I would've never made it on time, so I didn't go. Not only that, I was cleaning up and had gotten pretty dizzy. There's no way I could drive like that, so I decided not to go. I thought of just going to where I went last week, but I wasn't sure if Aunt Betty would be there or not. Brandon is sick again, and if she couldn't get a sitter, she'd have to stay home with him. I don't have long-distance on my phone, so I couldn't even call her. I will have to wait until next week to go.
Time flew right by, and before I knew it, it was time to get ready to go to the "Beagle picnic". For the past few years, we've bought a ticket to go. Uncle Rusty belongs to the Eldred Beagle Club, and for the past few years, they've had a picnic to raise money for the club. It cost us $20 for our family to go. They have a Chinese Auction, kiddie cake walk, meat raffles, 50/50 money raffles, basket raffles, food, drinks, ice cream, and by purchasing a ticket, you have a chance to win money and door prizes.
This year, we did better than we'd ever done there! We won a ham, two cakes in the cake raffle, the younger 3 won stuff in the kiddie cake walk, 3 Chinese auction prizes, and a huge basket filled with Christmas decorations, candy, cd's, towels, etc.!! It was nice to finally go there and leave there with something! Corey and Collin cried that they didn't want to leave. They had a good time too, and I really can't complain about how they were. They were pretty good! There was a little play area for the kids, and a magician came and did some tricks and then made balloon animals, etc. for the kids. They had a blast!
It's just past 10:30 pm now, and they are still awake. I'm so tired, and I'm going to have to take them into bed now and hope they fall asleep before I do! I'm fighting to keep my eyes open, but they seem wide awake. Dennis just took them in now, and I'm heading in too.
Yesterday was a long day. I took some things to Chrissy's for her garage sale. I didn't do too bad, I really didn't have that much stuff, and I made $50. I got up earlier yesterday morning than I normally get up during the week. By the end of the day, I was exhausted!
This morning, I was up early again. I talked to Chrissy about going to church with her, and she said she'd call me back later that night to let me know what time she'd be leaving and if we'd drive together, etc. I never got the call. Little did I know, Trevor had the phone in his room and was using it most of the night. She tried calling, but didn't get through. Ugh!
I got up this morning, long before my alarm was set to go off. I couldn't sleep. I thought for sure that Chrissy would call me in the morning. I wasn't afraid that I wouldn't get up in time, I've been having a lot of trouble with sleep lately. Mostly because Dennis wakes me often. He doesn't mean to do it, but he moans and groans in his sleep. He's been having terrible back pain for weeks now, and he doesn't do anything about it. I don't want to think about it, but my mind always thinks the worst. What if it is something more than just back pain? He has one vacation day left, and he's talking about taking it tomorrow, and going to the dr. or ER. (He doesn't have the money to go to the dr. so he'll go to the ER and be billed). I have been, and continue to pray that it is something that can be treated with meds and/or therapy, or something. I hate to see him in so much pain.
Anyway, I got a little side-tracked there!
I was up and ready to go this morning. I called Chrissy around 8 am, but got her machine! I figured she was either in the shower, or changed her mind about going. I knew that she'd be helping my Aunt Linda the night before, and I thought maybe it took longer than she would've liked, and she was up too late and decided not to go. I left a message and told her to call me before 8:30 am if she was going. Any later than that, and I didn't think I'd be able to make it.
Finally, at 8:50 am, she called, and by then, it was too late. I would've never made it on time, so I didn't go. Not only that, I was cleaning up and had gotten pretty dizzy. There's no way I could drive like that, so I decided not to go. I thought of just going to where I went last week, but I wasn't sure if Aunt Betty would be there or not. Brandon is sick again, and if she couldn't get a sitter, she'd have to stay home with him. I don't have long-distance on my phone, so I couldn't even call her. I will have to wait until next week to go.
Time flew right by, and before I knew it, it was time to get ready to go to the "Beagle picnic". For the past few years, we've bought a ticket to go. Uncle Rusty belongs to the Eldred Beagle Club, and for the past few years, they've had a picnic to raise money for the club. It cost us $20 for our family to go. They have a Chinese Auction, kiddie cake walk, meat raffles, 50/50 money raffles, basket raffles, food, drinks, ice cream, and by purchasing a ticket, you have a chance to win money and door prizes.
This year, we did better than we'd ever done there! We won a ham, two cakes in the cake raffle, the younger 3 won stuff in the kiddie cake walk, 3 Chinese auction prizes, and a huge basket filled with Christmas decorations, candy, cd's, towels, etc.!! It was nice to finally go there and leave there with something! Corey and Collin cried that they didn't want to leave. They had a good time too, and I really can't complain about how they were. They were pretty good! There was a little play area for the kids, and a magician came and did some tricks and then made balloon animals, etc. for the kids. They had a blast!
It's just past 10:30 pm now, and they are still awake. I'm so tired, and I'm going to have to take them into bed now and hope they fall asleep before I do! I'm fighting to keep my eyes open, but they seem wide awake. Dennis just took them in now, and I'm heading in too.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Will he give me grandchildren?
Earlier tonight, Brad and I went to the Conference Center for Cub Scout registration night. I love going to scouts with him, and I really enjoy the ride to and from there. Bradley comes up with some real good ones! LOL
He has now decided that he will get married when he's older. For a little while, he wasn't going to get married because it costs too much. He used to say that if he got married, he'd have to spend more money on a bed, since he'd need a double, he'd have to buy more food, have kids (which are expensive), and his bills would be higher.
Tonight, he said he's going to get married, but he's making his wife get a job too. He won't have children so that his wife can work. I'm sure that he'll change his mind, eventually, well, I hope he does!
He has now decided that he will get married when he's older. For a little while, he wasn't going to get married because it costs too much. He used to say that if he got married, he'd have to spend more money on a bed, since he'd need a double, he'd have to buy more food, have kids (which are expensive), and his bills would be higher.
Tonight, he said he's going to get married, but he's making his wife get a job too. He won't have children so that his wife can work. I'm sure that he'll change his mind, eventually, well, I hope he does!
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Busy day!
I shouldn't have waited so long to come here. I'm tired now and have a headache. I think the headache is from lack of sleep. I was up early today, and up way too late the night before.
Brief description of my day: (Imagine that, me keeping it brief! LOL)
Church (1st time in a very long time! I loved it!!)
Picked up toys in living room
Worked on Cub Scout pages
Took Brad to Tanner's party
Worked on Cub Scout pages
Picked Brad up from Tanner's party
Made supper
Went to Aunt Linda's
Checked e-mail
Came here!
I really enjoyed the visit at Aunt Linda's. Uncle Scott & Aunt Debbie come to visit every now and then from Indiana. I'd love to someday be able to visit them, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.
I love when all of my aunts and uncles get together. I love hearing the stories! I took Brad and Trevor with, but left Corey and Collin at home with Dennis. Next time they come, I'll take the little ones along. I'm not sure I could've handled them tonight. I'm exhausted!
I'm yawning as I type, and my eyes are burning. I'd better call it a night!
Brief description of my day: (Imagine that, me keeping it brief! LOL)
Church (1st time in a very long time! I loved it!!)
Picked up toys in living room
Worked on Cub Scout pages
Took Brad to Tanner's party
Worked on Cub Scout pages
Picked Brad up from Tanner's party
Made supper
Went to Aunt Linda's
Checked e-mail
Came here!
I really enjoyed the visit at Aunt Linda's. Uncle Scott & Aunt Debbie come to visit every now and then from Indiana. I'd love to someday be able to visit them, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.
I love when all of my aunts and uncles get together. I love hearing the stories! I took Brad and Trevor with, but left Corey and Collin at home with Dennis. Next time they come, I'll take the little ones along. I'm not sure I could've handled them tonight. I'm exhausted!
I'm yawning as I type, and my eyes are burning. I'd better call it a night!
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Need more hours in a day!
Today we went to Aunt Betty's house for Savannah's 5th birthday party. I'm amazed that there's still dirt in her back yard. My boys brought so much of it home with them! I gave them a bath before we went to the party. What a waste! They did have a great time, though! They always have a good time at Aunt Betty's house!
Tomorrow will be another busy day. I'm planning on going to church with Aunt Betty. It's something I've been wanting to do for so long. I've decided that I will go to church with her this Sunday, and next Sunday I hope to go with my sister, Chrissy, to the church that she goes to. I'd more or less like to "check them out", and see which one I feel most comfortable at, and then I'm hoping to get the boys into Sunday School.
After church, I'd like to get some pages done on the computer. Cub Scouts is having it's registration night on Monday night, and I was asked to make some more pages. I take so many pictures of the boys, and then I make "scrapbook" pages with them. I haven't put them in an actual book yet, but it's something I'm going to try and do. Everyone loved the pages I did last year, so that is why they ask me to do them.
Bradley will be going to his friend Tanner's house at 2pm for a birthday party. Tanner is one of his best friends. He and Tanner made a skateboarding video last year for a project that they were assigned to do. I never did get to see the video. It doesn't open on my computer, but I do have the disk. I'm hoping to one day get to see it!
Sunday night, at 6-6:30pm, I'll be going to Aunt Linda's house. Uncle Scott is in from Indiana for a visit. Uncle Scott is the youngest in my mom's family. I really love getting together with everyone. I love my family! Dennis will more than likely stay home, and I'm thinking of leaving at least my two youngest home with him. I need a little time to myself, and it's hard to enjoy a visit while chasing the boys around.
I wish, in a way, that there were 2 of me. At 6pm tomorrow night, the church "next door" is doing something that I know my boys would love. One of the pastor's boys brought a little paper to us about the night's activities. They're calling it "Fascar Racing". Each child is to bring a Hot Wheels or Matchbox car to race down a track. They'll award prizes and do other things too. I'd like to see them go, but I'm not sure what will happen yet. I can't be in two places at the same time.
I really should be in bed now, but I wouldn't have been able to sleep knowing that I didn't post. I'm determined to keep up with this! LOL
Tune in tomorrow.......
Tomorrow will be another busy day. I'm planning on going to church with Aunt Betty. It's something I've been wanting to do for so long. I've decided that I will go to church with her this Sunday, and next Sunday I hope to go with my sister, Chrissy, to the church that she goes to. I'd more or less like to "check them out", and see which one I feel most comfortable at, and then I'm hoping to get the boys into Sunday School.
After church, I'd like to get some pages done on the computer. Cub Scouts is having it's registration night on Monday night, and I was asked to make some more pages. I take so many pictures of the boys, and then I make "scrapbook" pages with them. I haven't put them in an actual book yet, but it's something I'm going to try and do. Everyone loved the pages I did last year, so that is why they ask me to do them.
Bradley will be going to his friend Tanner's house at 2pm for a birthday party. Tanner is one of his best friends. He and Tanner made a skateboarding video last year for a project that they were assigned to do. I never did get to see the video. It doesn't open on my computer, but I do have the disk. I'm hoping to one day get to see it!
Sunday night, at 6-6:30pm, I'll be going to Aunt Linda's house. Uncle Scott is in from Indiana for a visit. Uncle Scott is the youngest in my mom's family. I really love getting together with everyone. I love my family! Dennis will more than likely stay home, and I'm thinking of leaving at least my two youngest home with him. I need a little time to myself, and it's hard to enjoy a visit while chasing the boys around.
I wish, in a way, that there were 2 of me. At 6pm tomorrow night, the church "next door" is doing something that I know my boys would love. One of the pastor's boys brought a little paper to us about the night's activities. They're calling it "Fascar Racing". Each child is to bring a Hot Wheels or Matchbox car to race down a track. They'll award prizes and do other things too. I'd like to see them go, but I'm not sure what will happen yet. I can't be in two places at the same time.
I really should be in bed now, but I wouldn't have been able to sleep knowing that I didn't post. I'm determined to keep up with this! LOL
Tune in tomorrow.......
Friday, September 16, 2005
One I will keep up with
I'm hoping to keep up with this blog. I started one previously and wasn't keeping up with it. I didn't really like where the other one was going. I would "run" to that one mainly when I was feeling down. I'm still keeping the "old" one, and I'm keeping it private. That will be the one that I go to when I need to "vent". I'm going to try really hard with this one to keep it up to date, and I've decided to share this one with friends and family. I'm sure you already have an idea of what life is like in the Moyer household, and if you don't, this is a good place to start!
So, if you give me a minute, I'll quickly tidy up a bit and I'll get the toys off of the couch so you can sit down. As always, I apologize for the mess, but I'm going for the "lived in" look in my house. LOL
Enjoy!
So, if you give me a minute, I'll quickly tidy up a bit and I'll get the toys off of the couch so you can sit down. As always, I apologize for the mess, but I'm going for the "lived in" look in my house. LOL
Enjoy!
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Little update
I guess waiting so long in between entries is why I'm wondering where to even start. I'll tell ya, for someone who has a pretty dull life, I sure have been busy lately! This weekend will be pretty busy too!
I'm hoping to get some school shopping done tomorrow night. School starts on Monday, and so far I bought NOTHING! Luckily, my mom bought the boys their sneakers, so I just have to get them some clothes and school supplies. I'm hoping to be able to do it on my super, isty-bitsy, tiny budget! I'm hoping to find deals like I did last year!
On Saturday, the church next door is having a "Summer Sizzler". The pastor's son brought a little flyer down with the details on it. I'm hoping to be able to go, at least for a little while. I know the boys would enjoy it and it does sound like fun!
I got a letter in the mail a few days ago. Looks like I'll be going to court. Trevor's dad hasn't been paying child support, and finally something is getting done about it! I guess it must have scared him some, because I got a call yesterday, and the woman from Domestic Relations told me that he made a $150 payment in hopes of not having to go to the hearing. (Got it today! YAY!) The woman told him she wouldn't cancel the hearing because $150 hardly puts a dent in the $1,098 that he owes me! We shall see what happens. I hope they can do something. It's been hard without that money coming in.
Last weekend, we went to my ex-SIL's wedding. We were invited, and I was asked if I would take pictures for her. We had a good time. Some may not agree with our going, but until she does me wrong, I have no problems with her. Not only that, if it wasn't for us being friends, I would probably never get to see my neice and nephew. I didn't divorce her, my brother did, and I don't blame her one bit. He was far from being a good husband to her. I'm glad that she is finally happy!
On Sunday, Trevor, Brad, and I went to the Rehrig Reunion. I normally would take $20 to spend with me, but because money has been a problem lately, I went with $10. I made sandwiches and took them along for us to eat. Next year, I'm hoping to be able to take Corey and Collin along too. Everyone was asking about them. I didn't take them since it's so hard to watch them there. Dennis hates going to family get-togethers, and he'd certainly rather watch them at home than at a big place like that. So, he stayed home with them. There'll be plenty more reunions for them to go to!
Today was like Christmas for the kids. lol Dennis was given a bunch of stuff from someone at work. A whole bunch of Rescue heros (playsets and vehicles too!), K'Nex, YuGiOh card binders, a Pixter, and a bunch of other stuff. The kids haven't left the stuff alone since it got here! I'll have to send a thank-you note along to work with him tomorrow. The boys are having a blast!! Maybe they are having too much fun. It's almost 11pm, and they are still awake!
I'm feeling a bit tired myself, so I will end. I've got to get the boys into their beds before they fall asleep in the living room.
Goodnight!
I'm hoping to get some school shopping done tomorrow night. School starts on Monday, and so far I bought NOTHING! Luckily, my mom bought the boys their sneakers, so I just have to get them some clothes and school supplies. I'm hoping to be able to do it on my super, isty-bitsy, tiny budget! I'm hoping to find deals like I did last year!
On Saturday, the church next door is having a "Summer Sizzler". The pastor's son brought a little flyer down with the details on it. I'm hoping to be able to go, at least for a little while. I know the boys would enjoy it and it does sound like fun!
I got a letter in the mail a few days ago. Looks like I'll be going to court. Trevor's dad hasn't been paying child support, and finally something is getting done about it! I guess it must have scared him some, because I got a call yesterday, and the woman from Domestic Relations told me that he made a $150 payment in hopes of not having to go to the hearing. (Got it today! YAY!) The woman told him she wouldn't cancel the hearing because $150 hardly puts a dent in the $1,098 that he owes me! We shall see what happens. I hope they can do something. It's been hard without that money coming in.
Last weekend, we went to my ex-SIL's wedding. We were invited, and I was asked if I would take pictures for her. We had a good time. Some may not agree with our going, but until she does me wrong, I have no problems with her. Not only that, if it wasn't for us being friends, I would probably never get to see my neice and nephew. I didn't divorce her, my brother did, and I don't blame her one bit. He was far from being a good husband to her. I'm glad that she is finally happy!
On Sunday, Trevor, Brad, and I went to the Rehrig Reunion. I normally would take $20 to spend with me, but because money has been a problem lately, I went with $10. I made sandwiches and took them along for us to eat. Next year, I'm hoping to be able to take Corey and Collin along too. Everyone was asking about them. I didn't take them since it's so hard to watch them there. Dennis hates going to family get-togethers, and he'd certainly rather watch them at home than at a big place like that. So, he stayed home with them. There'll be plenty more reunions for them to go to!
Today was like Christmas for the kids. lol Dennis was given a bunch of stuff from someone at work. A whole bunch of Rescue heros (playsets and vehicles too!), K'Nex, YuGiOh card binders, a Pixter, and a bunch of other stuff. The kids haven't left the stuff alone since it got here! I'll have to send a thank-you note along to work with him tomorrow. The boys are having a blast!! Maybe they are having too much fun. It's almost 11pm, and they are still awake!
I'm feeling a bit tired myself, so I will end. I've got to get the boys into their beds before they fall asleep in the living room.
Goodnight!
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Busy, busy, busy (stress, stress, stress)
I haven't been so good with keeping up with this blog. I didn't think it would get this bad, though!
I've been so busy lately, yet I don't feel like I'm accomplishing all that much. This past weekend, the heat and humidity here was so bad that I didn't even turn the computer on. It was too hot to even complain about how hot it was! We were also pretty busy.
Saturday night, we would've liked to have gone to "Bike Night". Bikers from all over come to Lehighton to show off their bikes and vendors sell their things and the money that is raised goes to the Lehigton Police and Fire Departments. It's a good cause, and the kids enjoy seeing all of the motorcycles. We didn't go mainly because of the heat, but we really didn't have money to spend either, and, I knew that there was a good chance of seeing my step-mom there, so we stayed home and played pool in the cool basement.
On Sunday, Bradley and I went with the scouts to the environmental center at Beltzville State Park. The boys earned their geology badge. We had a great time, despite the heat. Brad's favorite part was digging for fossils. We were at the park from 10 am to 3 pm, but the time just flew right by. We left the park, came home, and washed off and got the rest of the family and we headed to my cousin Nicci's graduation party. It was indoors, and air conditioned!
At the party, I learned some sad news. My uncle Rusty's niece, Angie, is in the hospital. She's in a coma, and they only give her a 5% chance of survival. (Rusty is my uncle through marriage, and Angie is his brother's daughter). She collapsed on her kitchen floor earlier that morning making breakfast for her kids. She suffered from an aneurysm in her brain, which also led to her having a stroke, at 30 years old. I feel so bad for her husband and her 2 young boys. I'm especially sad for her dad. He had to bury Angie's brother, Bobby, 20 years ago this past July. Bobby was only 14 years old. He died suddenly due to an accident at my aunt and uncle's house. He was electrocuted at their swimming pool. I remember that day like it was yesterday, and I've seen how it has changed Angie and Bobby's dad. I can't imagine how hard this is on him.
This weekend coming is going to be just as busy! On Saturday, I'm going to a wedding. My brother's ex-wife is getting re-married. Yes, I did say my brother's ex. Some feel that it is wrong, but I didn't divorce her, my brother did. She also asked me to be her "photographer". If it wasn't for her, and our friendship, I'd never get to see my niece and nephew. My brother's new "girlfriend" doesn't "allow" him to see his own family! So, we (Dennis, kids, and I) will go, take pictures, and have a good time!
This Sunday is the Rehrig Family Reunion. It will probably be just me and the kids going to that, since Dennis doesn't like going to reunions. I want Corey and Collin to go along, but I'll need his help for a little bit, so hopefully I'll be able to talk him into going, even if it's just for a little while. Last year I went without them, and I had so many people ask me where "the twins" were. They'd love to see them! It's hard for me to keep an eye on them when I have to get up in front of everyone and read my historian's report. It's a big place, and I don't want to put that kind of responsibility on my older boys, especially since they'd like to go and do their own thing too.
The next big thing for me to stress about is school! It starts on the 29th of this month. I'm not sure where I'll get the money to do school shopping. My mom bought Brad a pair of sneakers, and so far that is all we have. The way things have been going lately, I'm dreading school starting. Trevor and Brad both need haircuts, and I haven't even been able to afford that! I cut my own the other day, but they won't let me attempt their hair. Soon, they may not have a choice. I'm so tired of money troubles. I don't remember it ever being this bad, but I'm not in full-blown panic mode just yet. Hopefully things will start to get better soon!
I've been so busy lately, yet I don't feel like I'm accomplishing all that much. This past weekend, the heat and humidity here was so bad that I didn't even turn the computer on. It was too hot to even complain about how hot it was! We were also pretty busy.
Saturday night, we would've liked to have gone to "Bike Night". Bikers from all over come to Lehighton to show off their bikes and vendors sell their things and the money that is raised goes to the Lehigton Police and Fire Departments. It's a good cause, and the kids enjoy seeing all of the motorcycles. We didn't go mainly because of the heat, but we really didn't have money to spend either, and, I knew that there was a good chance of seeing my step-mom there, so we stayed home and played pool in the cool basement.
On Sunday, Bradley and I went with the scouts to the environmental center at Beltzville State Park. The boys earned their geology badge. We had a great time, despite the heat. Brad's favorite part was digging for fossils. We were at the park from 10 am to 3 pm, but the time just flew right by. We left the park, came home, and washed off and got the rest of the family and we headed to my cousin Nicci's graduation party. It was indoors, and air conditioned!
At the party, I learned some sad news. My uncle Rusty's niece, Angie, is in the hospital. She's in a coma, and they only give her a 5% chance of survival. (Rusty is my uncle through marriage, and Angie is his brother's daughter). She collapsed on her kitchen floor earlier that morning making breakfast for her kids. She suffered from an aneurysm in her brain, which also led to her having a stroke, at 30 years old. I feel so bad for her husband and her 2 young boys. I'm especially sad for her dad. He had to bury Angie's brother, Bobby, 20 years ago this past July. Bobby was only 14 years old. He died suddenly due to an accident at my aunt and uncle's house. He was electrocuted at their swimming pool. I remember that day like it was yesterday, and I've seen how it has changed Angie and Bobby's dad. I can't imagine how hard this is on him.
This weekend coming is going to be just as busy! On Saturday, I'm going to a wedding. My brother's ex-wife is getting re-married. Yes, I did say my brother's ex. Some feel that it is wrong, but I didn't divorce her, my brother did. She also asked me to be her "photographer". If it wasn't for her, and our friendship, I'd never get to see my niece and nephew. My brother's new "girlfriend" doesn't "allow" him to see his own family! So, we (Dennis, kids, and I) will go, take pictures, and have a good time!
This Sunday is the Rehrig Family Reunion. It will probably be just me and the kids going to that, since Dennis doesn't like going to reunions. I want Corey and Collin to go along, but I'll need his help for a little bit, so hopefully I'll be able to talk him into going, even if it's just for a little while. Last year I went without them, and I had so many people ask me where "the twins" were. They'd love to see them! It's hard for me to keep an eye on them when I have to get up in front of everyone and read my historian's report. It's a big place, and I don't want to put that kind of responsibility on my older boys, especially since they'd like to go and do their own thing too.
The next big thing for me to stress about is school! It starts on the 29th of this month. I'm not sure where I'll get the money to do school shopping. My mom bought Brad a pair of sneakers, and so far that is all we have. The way things have been going lately, I'm dreading school starting. Trevor and Brad both need haircuts, and I haven't even been able to afford that! I cut my own the other day, but they won't let me attempt their hair. Soon, they may not have a choice. I'm so tired of money troubles. I don't remember it ever being this bad, but I'm not in full-blown panic mode just yet. Hopefully things will start to get better soon!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
TGTF (Thank God Tomorrow's Friday!!)
It's time to empty some out. It's been a bad week for me, so far, and there is so much built up inside that I'm just going to explode! If I haven't said it already, I'm thinking it everytime I come here. Why can't I post my happy thoughts in here??? !!!!
MondayIt all started Monday night. I went into the bathroom, stripped off all of my clothing, and started the shower. I didn't even step into the shower when I realized we were out of hot water! I wrapped my towel around me and yelled down the hall to Dennis that we were out of hot water. Normally, he would get dressed and go to the gas station and get kerosene to dump into the oil tank. Not this time. He told me he can get the kerosene 50 cents cheaper at a gas station closer to where he works. He'd take the can with him to work in the morning and he'd bring some home Tuesday afternoon.
Well, there was no way that I was going to go without a shower! I had just scrubbed the kitchen, dining room, entry, and the one bathroom floor before I was to get my shower, so I definately needed it! I'm thinking now, maybe I should've held off on scrubbing my disgusting floors. At least I might've had hot water!
I took a cold shower.
TuesdayTuesday morning, I couldn't start my regular routine for the day. I usually start off by giving the kids their breakfast and then I'd start cleaning up the kitchen, doing the dishes and wiping off the tables and counters. I couldn't without hot water. It would have to wait until he got home with kerosene. I rinsed and stacked the dishes and wiped off what I had to with cold water. GRRR!
I'm glad I wiped everything off and cleaned up what I did, because my sister and neice stopped in. They were up at my mom's on Monday, and my mom sent some of the leftover food from the party at her house on Saturday. Little did I know how much I really needed the food that she sent.
Dennis came home from work on Tuesday empty handed. No kerosene. He tried to avoid the subject, but since it was all that was on my mind, I had to ask if he got any. Of course, he said no. He has NO money. Ok, great, it's Tuesday, and he is flat broke!! Actually, he was flat broke by MONDAY!!!
I tried thinking of where we went wrong? We could've been $28 richer had I not gone to Wal-Mart on Saturday morning and bought my boys the sneakers and outfits. I paid $9.97 each for 2 pairs of sneakers. I wasn't going to the birthday party having my boys wear sneakers that didn't fit, or sandals that were obviously too small. They needed the new sneakers. I also bought them each an out fit, $2 each for each shirt and shorts, totalling $8! I am so tired of seeing pics of my boys wearing the same darn things. The same things that they wore last year! The only other thing I bought at WM that morning was a birthday card. Maybe I should've made one on the computer?
Anyway, after I found out that there would be no hot water until Friday, I put a pot of water on the stove to heat up so my dishes could at least be washed in hot water. It totally went through me to rinse them in cold water, but at least they were clean.
WednesdayYesterday, my mom stopped in to return my crock pot. It didn't dawn on me right away, but I could tell by the way she was dressed, that I wasn't her only stop. Then it clicked! I remembered my sister telling me that she was having a little ice cream cake for Alyssa's birthday! She wasn't having a "party", but she bought an ice cream cake and if anyone wanted to stop by, they could. I would've liked to have gone, but I'd need a shower, and I'd have no gift. I know Alyssa would've been fine with me not bringing a gift, but I still would've felt ackward, so I didn't go. Not only that, I wasn't going without a shower, and I know there are just fumes in my gas tank in the van. I will make it up to her someday.
My mom had also brought some cucumbers from her garden. I didn't take many since I was still eating cucumber salad from the last bunch she brought me. I took just a few to fry. That would be my supper tonight! Trevor and I are the only ones that eat cucumbers, so this would be good, it would make the leftovers last a little longer.
After supper, I put 2 big pots of water on the stove to get hot. With the heat and humidity being so bad, the kids and I really needed a bath. The water may not have been as deep as they would normally like it, but at least they would be clean! I did the same for myself. As I sat in the water that didn't even cover my knees when I sat down, I thought of how lucky I am that it wasn't winter! The water was just barely luke warm. There's no way I could've taken a bath like that in the winter. I would've froze!
Dennis didn't want to wait, so he took a cold shower.
The day wasn't ALL bad, though. Dennis did come home from work with a little good news. He will be working on Saturday. OVERTIME!!! He's been waiting for months for them to tell him that.
ThursdayHere we are, today, Thursday. We don't have much farther to go, and we are still in one piece. We have since ran out of kool-aid and sugar, and laundry soap, but we have plenty of cold water!
Dennis took some things with him to work today in hopes of selling them to guys he works with or he'll take them to the pawn shop nearby. He is hoping to bring us some kerosene home, possibly some sugar and kool-aid. We'll have enough party leftovers for supper tonight, but I'm not sure about lunch tomorrow. We only have to make it until he gets home from work tomorrow. The kids will be more than happy, I'm sure, eating cereal for breakfast and lunch tomorrow. Heck, most nights, they'd eat cereal for supper if I'd let them!
I'll be so happy when this week is finally over. I'll be even happier that we've made it through this without having to borrow money from anyone. Yesterday, I spent most of my day at the computer, working on a website for Bradley's cub scout pack. It kind of kept my mind off of how things are here, but it did create some new frustrations, since I've never done a website before. LOL
Also, today, I finally made the call to the phone company. Since a bad thunderstorm hit last week, my phone hasn't been working. I can make calls, but I can't receive them. I know when someone is trying to call, because I get a "half ring". Sometimes, if the phone is right by my side, I can answer it before it cuts off. I called the phone company last Thursday, and they said it was due to the storm and that it would be working that night. It wasn't. I called again on Monday, and they told me they'd send someone out, but if the problem was inside the house, I'd have to pay $90 for the guy to come and $46 for ever half hour that he is here. I told them not to send anyone, how would I afford that?? We did every kind of test that we could do, and the problem is still there. I decided today that I'd just let them send someone out and if I have to pay, I will find a way. Hopefully, the problem will be outside. I need to be able to receive calls. We shall see what happens. Someone should be sometime today before 6pm.
I think, too, that a lot of this is getting to me more so because it's my "PMS week". I've been through so many emotions in the past few days. This is probably one of the only times that I've ever actually looked forward to getting my period. Imagine that! LOL
Ahh, I do kind of feel a little better getting it out. Hopefully, Dennis will keep getting some overtime, and hopefully, I will get the child support that I am owed. It's been a little over a month since I last received a payment. As of today, I am owed almost $900!
Next week will be better, I'm sure. (It HAS to be!!)
MondayIt all started Monday night. I went into the bathroom, stripped off all of my clothing, and started the shower. I didn't even step into the shower when I realized we were out of hot water! I wrapped my towel around me and yelled down the hall to Dennis that we were out of hot water. Normally, he would get dressed and go to the gas station and get kerosene to dump into the oil tank. Not this time. He told me he can get the kerosene 50 cents cheaper at a gas station closer to where he works. He'd take the can with him to work in the morning and he'd bring some home Tuesday afternoon.
Well, there was no way that I was going to go without a shower! I had just scrubbed the kitchen, dining room, entry, and the one bathroom floor before I was to get my shower, so I definately needed it! I'm thinking now, maybe I should've held off on scrubbing my disgusting floors. At least I might've had hot water!
I took a cold shower.
TuesdayTuesday morning, I couldn't start my regular routine for the day. I usually start off by giving the kids their breakfast and then I'd start cleaning up the kitchen, doing the dishes and wiping off the tables and counters. I couldn't without hot water. It would have to wait until he got home with kerosene. I rinsed and stacked the dishes and wiped off what I had to with cold water. GRRR!
I'm glad I wiped everything off and cleaned up what I did, because my sister and neice stopped in. They were up at my mom's on Monday, and my mom sent some of the leftover food from the party at her house on Saturday. Little did I know how much I really needed the food that she sent.
Dennis came home from work on Tuesday empty handed. No kerosene. He tried to avoid the subject, but since it was all that was on my mind, I had to ask if he got any. Of course, he said no. He has NO money. Ok, great, it's Tuesday, and he is flat broke!! Actually, he was flat broke by MONDAY!!!
I tried thinking of where we went wrong? We could've been $28 richer had I not gone to Wal-Mart on Saturday morning and bought my boys the sneakers and outfits. I paid $9.97 each for 2 pairs of sneakers. I wasn't going to the birthday party having my boys wear sneakers that didn't fit, or sandals that were obviously too small. They needed the new sneakers. I also bought them each an out fit, $2 each for each shirt and shorts, totalling $8! I am so tired of seeing pics of my boys wearing the same darn things. The same things that they wore last year! The only other thing I bought at WM that morning was a birthday card. Maybe I should've made one on the computer?
Anyway, after I found out that there would be no hot water until Friday, I put a pot of water on the stove to heat up so my dishes could at least be washed in hot water. It totally went through me to rinse them in cold water, but at least they were clean.
WednesdayYesterday, my mom stopped in to return my crock pot. It didn't dawn on me right away, but I could tell by the way she was dressed, that I wasn't her only stop. Then it clicked! I remembered my sister telling me that she was having a little ice cream cake for Alyssa's birthday! She wasn't having a "party", but she bought an ice cream cake and if anyone wanted to stop by, they could. I would've liked to have gone, but I'd need a shower, and I'd have no gift. I know Alyssa would've been fine with me not bringing a gift, but I still would've felt ackward, so I didn't go. Not only that, I wasn't going without a shower, and I know there are just fumes in my gas tank in the van. I will make it up to her someday.
My mom had also brought some cucumbers from her garden. I didn't take many since I was still eating cucumber salad from the last bunch she brought me. I took just a few to fry. That would be my supper tonight! Trevor and I are the only ones that eat cucumbers, so this would be good, it would make the leftovers last a little longer.
After supper, I put 2 big pots of water on the stove to get hot. With the heat and humidity being so bad, the kids and I really needed a bath. The water may not have been as deep as they would normally like it, but at least they would be clean! I did the same for myself. As I sat in the water that didn't even cover my knees when I sat down, I thought of how lucky I am that it wasn't winter! The water was just barely luke warm. There's no way I could've taken a bath like that in the winter. I would've froze!
Dennis didn't want to wait, so he took a cold shower.
The day wasn't ALL bad, though. Dennis did come home from work with a little good news. He will be working on Saturday. OVERTIME!!! He's been waiting for months for them to tell him that.
ThursdayHere we are, today, Thursday. We don't have much farther to go, and we are still in one piece. We have since ran out of kool-aid and sugar, and laundry soap, but we have plenty of cold water!
Dennis took some things with him to work today in hopes of selling them to guys he works with or he'll take them to the pawn shop nearby. He is hoping to bring us some kerosene home, possibly some sugar and kool-aid. We'll have enough party leftovers for supper tonight, but I'm not sure about lunch tomorrow. We only have to make it until he gets home from work tomorrow. The kids will be more than happy, I'm sure, eating cereal for breakfast and lunch tomorrow. Heck, most nights, they'd eat cereal for supper if I'd let them!
I'll be so happy when this week is finally over. I'll be even happier that we've made it through this without having to borrow money from anyone. Yesterday, I spent most of my day at the computer, working on a website for Bradley's cub scout pack. It kind of kept my mind off of how things are here, but it did create some new frustrations, since I've never done a website before. LOL
Also, today, I finally made the call to the phone company. Since a bad thunderstorm hit last week, my phone hasn't been working. I can make calls, but I can't receive them. I know when someone is trying to call, because I get a "half ring". Sometimes, if the phone is right by my side, I can answer it before it cuts off. I called the phone company last Thursday, and they said it was due to the storm and that it would be working that night. It wasn't. I called again on Monday, and they told me they'd send someone out, but if the problem was inside the house, I'd have to pay $90 for the guy to come and $46 for ever half hour that he is here. I told them not to send anyone, how would I afford that?? We did every kind of test that we could do, and the problem is still there. I decided today that I'd just let them send someone out and if I have to pay, I will find a way. Hopefully, the problem will be outside. I need to be able to receive calls. We shall see what happens. Someone should be sometime today before 6pm.
I think, too, that a lot of this is getting to me more so because it's my "PMS week". I've been through so many emotions in the past few days. This is probably one of the only times that I've ever actually looked forward to getting my period. Imagine that! LOL
Ahh, I do kind of feel a little better getting it out. Hopefully, Dennis will keep getting some overtime, and hopefully, I will get the child support that I am owed. It's been a little over a month since I last received a payment. As of today, I am owed almost $900!
Next week will be better, I'm sure. (It HAS to be!!)
Thursday, July 28, 2005
A little bloom goes a long way.....
I took a picture of my minature rose the other day. I bought the plant at the supermarket over a year ago. It was sitting in a cart full of reduced things, and it looked pretty sad. I only paid $1 for it, regular price was $4.99. At the beginning of spring, I transplanted the rose to another pot. I was looking pretty bad. I had to throw away part of the plant since it had died off and there was no reviving it. Not long ago, the plant showed much improvement. A new shoot had grown, and it grew very fast! It started to bud, and I took a picture of the prettiest little rose. Sometime tomorrow, I will have 2 more tiny roses to admire. There are 2 other buds that are just now opening up. The plant sits on my kitchen window sill, and it gives me great satisfaction to see this plant so alive and doing well. As I stand at the sink, washing dishes, I look out the window, watching birds or other animals in the back yard, but somehow, my eyes take me back to the little rose. The little rose that would've been tossed into the trash had I not bought it and taken it home. To some, it is just a stupid plant. To me, it is much more. It tells a story similar to mine. When things seem to be as bad as it can get, don't give up, grow stronger, and you will bloom.Today was a pretty trying day for me. It seemed like I took one step forward and two steps back. I got all of the laundry done, but I forgot to get the sheets off of the washline. My neighbor decided it was a good day to burn, so now I have to rewash to get the smell out.
I was feeling good and got the "off limits" toys from my bedroom closet for the boys to play with. They are Micro Machines that were given to Bradley from his Uncle Allen. They are old, and still in their original boxes. Bradley, Corey, and Collin played so nicely with them today, and it kept them busy for hours. They even helped me when it was time to clean them up. Minutes later, Collin decided to poo in his bedroom. Corey helped him smear it all over the toys, walls, and carpet. It took me almost 2 hours to clean it and the boys up. I've been wanting to shampoo their carpet, but I wanted to do it when I was ready!
Because of the storm we had yesterday, my phone is not working properly. I can make calls, but I can't receive them. In a way, that's not so bad. LOL
Tomorrow I will wake up and my 2 little rosebuds will be bloomed and there to greet me as I start a brand new day. I will look at them, and probably take pictures of them, since they are so pretty to look at! (And I have a serious addiction to taking pics! lol)
Life is good.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Trying to catch up
It seems that I've been pretty busy for the past few days, but I don't really feel that I've really accomplished anything around here. There has been so much going on and so much more to come in the coming weeks. I'm not sure that I'll ever get caught up with everything! UGGH!
This past Thursday night, we had surprise visitors! Aunt Betty & her family came to visit for a little bit. It wasn't just Aunt Betty, but the whole crew! Glenn (her son) and his two kids, Austin and Savannah, and Brandon (her grandson) also came! We were a little worried about how we were going to get Brandon inside, but we had no problem getting him and his wheelchair into the basement from the garage. Our basement is "behind" the garage, and Dennis said we'd never fit him through, but we did. The basement isn't exactly the best place to visit in my house, but with a pool table in there, everyone had fun. I think Brandon enjoyed himself too. He was all smiles!
On Friday afternoon, we went along with Brad and the cub scouts to tour the tower at the breast of the dam at Beltzville Lake. I wasn't sure that I'd make it to the bottom because I was afraid that I would get claustrophobic. Since Corey and Collin were along, we felt it would be safer and easier to take the elevator to the bottom and back up. There is a spiral staircase, about 200 and some steps and we didn't think they'd be able to handle that. Brad took the steps, and it was a little eery that you could see all the way down to the bottom! As a kid, we would go to the lake on my dad's boat, and I often wondered how far down the tower went, and if they gave tours. After many years, I finally got to see the inside. I am very much afraid of heights, but I handled it pretty good.
Today, we went to my mom's to help set up for a birthday party. We put up two big canopies and set up some tables and chairs. Mom's boyfriend, Jerry, thinks that the party is for my niece, Alyssa, but it's actually for him. He's turning 50 on August 1st, and the party is for him. He will be so surprised!
I made a phone call to Domestic Relations this morning. I haven't received a child support payment from Trevor's father in over a month. I'm getting a bit worried since school will be starting before you know it, and I was hoping to get some school shopping done with the money. Looks like it could be a while before I see any money. My caseworker at Domestic Relations made a call to his house, and I guess he is hoping to get called back to work. My caseworker more or less told him that it's time he looks for another job. He will have 2 weeks to get a job or to prove that he is looking for a job. I'm hoping something happens soon. We've been struggling so bad lately and not having the support certainly isn't helping. I'm losing out on almost $400 a month without the support!
Dennis came home from work yesterday and told me that he's doing all that he can to try and get some work for me to do at home. I did some work from home before for the company, but this would be something a little different and would pay better. Hopefully, he'll come home with some good news and tell me that I have the job! It would be perfect for me, and I'd still be able to do things with my kids, since I'd be making my own hours.
Yesterday, I got an e-mail from Joan (my grandfather's cousin). Her grandaughter is expecting TRIPLETS! I'm so excited for them! I e-mailed her back with my congratulations, and I told her about how nice it was that her sister called me not long ago. I've been sending Joan's sister, Nettie, some cards since she's been in the nursing home recovering from having her leg amputated due to her diabetes. I talked to Nettie a bit, and we'd like to meet each other. I'm giving some serious thought about getting more of the Highland family together and both Joan and Nettie think it's a great idea! I'd really love to get to see family that I really don't know too much about. I'm all about family, and maybe this is the little push I need to start a Highland family reunion!
Speaking of reunions, I received my invitation to the Rehrig family reunion the other day. It'll be on August 21st! Did I mention that I LOVE family reunions? LOL I know that Dennis won't be going, he doesn't like going to that kind of thing, but I'll be there! I was never one for speaking in front of an audience, but I'm not all that nervous when I have to get up and give my historian's report. I really enjoy it, and I enjoy being involved with my family and distant relatives. I've met some wonderful people/relatives in the past few years. It's great!
It's almost midnight already! Time sure does fly! I'm hoping to get some housework done tomorrow, and hopefully get caught up on everything, but I'm not counting on it. I feel like I'm so far behind in everything. I haven't even been keeping up with this blog like I would've liked to. I've got to make some changes, but I'm not sure how or when I will actually do it.
I'm heading to bed now in hopes of getting a fresh start tomorrow.
Goodnight.
This past Thursday night, we had surprise visitors! Aunt Betty & her family came to visit for a little bit. It wasn't just Aunt Betty, but the whole crew! Glenn (her son) and his two kids, Austin and Savannah, and Brandon (her grandson) also came! We were a little worried about how we were going to get Brandon inside, but we had no problem getting him and his wheelchair into the basement from the garage. Our basement is "behind" the garage, and Dennis said we'd never fit him through, but we did. The basement isn't exactly the best place to visit in my house, but with a pool table in there, everyone had fun. I think Brandon enjoyed himself too. He was all smiles!
On Friday afternoon, we went along with Brad and the cub scouts to tour the tower at the breast of the dam at Beltzville Lake. I wasn't sure that I'd make it to the bottom because I was afraid that I would get claustrophobic. Since Corey and Collin were along, we felt it would be safer and easier to take the elevator to the bottom and back up. There is a spiral staircase, about 200 and some steps and we didn't think they'd be able to handle that. Brad took the steps, and it was a little eery that you could see all the way down to the bottom! As a kid, we would go to the lake on my dad's boat, and I often wondered how far down the tower went, and if they gave tours. After many years, I finally got to see the inside. I am very much afraid of heights, but I handled it pretty good.
Today, we went to my mom's to help set up for a birthday party. We put up two big canopies and set up some tables and chairs. Mom's boyfriend, Jerry, thinks that the party is for my niece, Alyssa, but it's actually for him. He's turning 50 on August 1st, and the party is for him. He will be so surprised!
I made a phone call to Domestic Relations this morning. I haven't received a child support payment from Trevor's father in over a month. I'm getting a bit worried since school will be starting before you know it, and I was hoping to get some school shopping done with the money. Looks like it could be a while before I see any money. My caseworker at Domestic Relations made a call to his house, and I guess he is hoping to get called back to work. My caseworker more or less told him that it's time he looks for another job. He will have 2 weeks to get a job or to prove that he is looking for a job. I'm hoping something happens soon. We've been struggling so bad lately and not having the support certainly isn't helping. I'm losing out on almost $400 a month without the support!
Dennis came home from work yesterday and told me that he's doing all that he can to try and get some work for me to do at home. I did some work from home before for the company, but this would be something a little different and would pay better. Hopefully, he'll come home with some good news and tell me that I have the job! It would be perfect for me, and I'd still be able to do things with my kids, since I'd be making my own hours.
Yesterday, I got an e-mail from Joan (my grandfather's cousin). Her grandaughter is expecting TRIPLETS! I'm so excited for them! I e-mailed her back with my congratulations, and I told her about how nice it was that her sister called me not long ago. I've been sending Joan's sister, Nettie, some cards since she's been in the nursing home recovering from having her leg amputated due to her diabetes. I talked to Nettie a bit, and we'd like to meet each other. I'm giving some serious thought about getting more of the Highland family together and both Joan and Nettie think it's a great idea! I'd really love to get to see family that I really don't know too much about. I'm all about family, and maybe this is the little push I need to start a Highland family reunion!
Speaking of reunions, I received my invitation to the Rehrig family reunion the other day. It'll be on August 21st! Did I mention that I LOVE family reunions? LOL I know that Dennis won't be going, he doesn't like going to that kind of thing, but I'll be there! I was never one for speaking in front of an audience, but I'm not all that nervous when I have to get up and give my historian's report. I really enjoy it, and I enjoy being involved with my family and distant relatives. I've met some wonderful people/relatives in the past few years. It's great!
It's almost midnight already! Time sure does fly! I'm hoping to get some housework done tomorrow, and hopefully get caught up on everything, but I'm not counting on it. I feel like I'm so far behind in everything. I haven't even been keeping up with this blog like I would've liked to. I've got to make some changes, but I'm not sure how or when I will actually do it.
I'm heading to bed now in hopes of getting a fresh start tomorrow.
Goodnight.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Our little guest
There is a katydid in my house. The kids and I discovered it on the ceiling yesterday afternoon. We're not sure how he got in, but upon closer inspection, we could see that he is missing one of his long legs in the back. We can't help but feel sad for him.
I didn't like the thought of not knowing where this creature was last night as I went to bed, but I knew that he wouldn't make it into my bedroom. The door is always closed, so I went to bed.
Just a few minutes ago, I spotted him again. This time on the dining room ceiling. I can't reach him, don't want to touch him, but I'm not afraid of him either. I wouldn't want him to crawl me, but I know that he won't hurt me.
As I watched him crawl slowly across the ceiling, I can't help but wonder what's going through his tiny little mind, if he does have one? Is he wondering if he should've asked for directions? Does it feel like he's walking for miles and getting nowhere, seeing the same white "pavement" that he's walking on?
He flew onto the dining room window and was slowly walking across the glass. Does he see the outside and wonder why he can't reach it?
I was hoping that he would get closer to the other window, so I could move the screen and let him fly out back into his own habitat. I lost him. I'm not sure where he is, and I don't want to stick my face into the curtains and have him land on me. That would freak me out! As soon as I spot him again, I will have to get Trevor out here to capture him and return him to the outside.
It's amazing how compassionate I can be to such creatures. Ones that I know won't hurt me. Now, if he had been a wasp, he would've been dead in a second!
I didn't like the thought of not knowing where this creature was last night as I went to bed, but I knew that he wouldn't make it into my bedroom. The door is always closed, so I went to bed.
Just a few minutes ago, I spotted him again. This time on the dining room ceiling. I can't reach him, don't want to touch him, but I'm not afraid of him either. I wouldn't want him to crawl me, but I know that he won't hurt me.
As I watched him crawl slowly across the ceiling, I can't help but wonder what's going through his tiny little mind, if he does have one? Is he wondering if he should've asked for directions? Does it feel like he's walking for miles and getting nowhere, seeing the same white "pavement" that he's walking on?
He flew onto the dining room window and was slowly walking across the glass. Does he see the outside and wonder why he can't reach it?
I was hoping that he would get closer to the other window, so I could move the screen and let him fly out back into his own habitat. I lost him. I'm not sure where he is, and I don't want to stick my face into the curtains and have him land on me. That would freak me out! As soon as I spot him again, I will have to get Trevor out here to capture him and return him to the outside.
It's amazing how compassionate I can be to such creatures. Ones that I know won't hurt me. Now, if he had been a wasp, he would've been dead in a second!
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Trying to keep up
It seems like it's been a while since my last entry. I actually did post someting , but it's gone, for now. I decided that I'm not as strong as I thought I was. For now, I've saved some as drafts, and when I feel ready, I will actually post them.
The heat and humidity here in the last few days has taken a lot out of me. It's too hot to do anything. Thankfully, it is now raining outside, we need it so bad!
This whole weekend went by so fast, and yet we did nothing. It was just to hot to do anything.
Collin just cracked me up yesterday. He told me he could make the house move! I thought maybe he was pretending that he had super powers or something, but then he asked me if I wanted to see how he does it. Of course, I said, "yes"! That was when he spun around in circles until he was dizzy! He's such a stinker! LOL The house didn't move for me, but it certainly moved for him!
I'm so ready for bed now, but I felt the need to post something. I'm not keeping up like I had intended on doing. I have more to say, but I'm too tired. The weatherman says the humidity will break on Wednesday, I so hope he's right! Hopefully, then, I'll be able to get at the computer more.
Goodnight.
The heat and humidity here in the last few days has taken a lot out of me. It's too hot to do anything. Thankfully, it is now raining outside, we need it so bad!
This whole weekend went by so fast, and yet we did nothing. It was just to hot to do anything.
Collin just cracked me up yesterday. He told me he could make the house move! I thought maybe he was pretending that he had super powers or something, but then he asked me if I wanted to see how he does it. Of course, I said, "yes"! That was when he spun around in circles until he was dizzy! He's such a stinker! LOL The house didn't move for me, but it certainly moved for him!
I'm so ready for bed now, but I felt the need to post something. I'm not keeping up like I had intended on doing. I have more to say, but I'm too tired. The weatherman says the humidity will break on Wednesday, I so hope he's right! Hopefully, then, I'll be able to get at the computer more.
Goodnight.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Happy Birthday Aunt Betty!
Today is Aunt Betty's 61st birthday. I had thought about taking her a cupcake with a candle in it to surprise her, but my mother-in-law invited us over for dinner and we didn't leave there as early as I would've liked. Not only that, I got a phone call from Aunt Linda earlier in the day saying that she was baking a cake and that she was calling my uncles (Betty & Linda's brothers) to kind of surprise her with.I got there a little late, and even though I was just at Aunt Betty's the weekend before, I was happy to see her and she was happy to see me. I figured, since it is her birthday today, I'd make my entry about her.
On a message board, the question was asked, "Who in your life, do you admire"? I didn't even have to think about that one. It's my Aunt Betty. She is one heck of a woman and I could not imagine walking even one day in her shoes.
My Aunt Betty is a cancer survivor. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1984. She had a mastectomy to remove one of her breasts. It was a scary time for all of us, but Aunt Betty would never let you see her down. She became very sick and lost all of her hair from the chemotherapy. He white cell count dropped very low, and we were so afraid of losing her, but she would not give up her fight. I was just 14 years old at the time, and it was so hard for me to see her like that. I always thought that if you had cancer, it meant you were going to die. Twenty-one years later, Aunt Betty is living proof that it can be beat, and I am so thankful to have her here.
In 1988, my grandfater became terribly ill. He had suffered from heart disease, and he was very sick. Who was the person that was at his side, taking care of him for many weeks as he layed in his hospital bed at home? Aunt Betty. She stayed by his side and was at his house every day to care for him. She was right behind the ambulance on the day that they rushed him to the hospital where he passed away.
In 1994, cancer had struck again. This time, it wasn't Aunt Betty, but her son, Bobby. He was just 24 years old at the time. It started in his spine, but was a fast spreading cancer that eventually made it to his lungs and other vital organs. I know that Aunt Betty was crumbling on the inside, but on the outside, she was a very strong woman for Bobby and for the rest of her family. She was at Bobby's side the entire time. Sadly, on June 25, 1995, after a 9 month fight, God took him home. Still, Aunt Betty stayed strong for the rest of the family. I have never experienced the loss of a child, but I've always imagined it to be the worst thing for a mother to ever go through, and it breaks my heart that a mother would have be put through so much pain. To me, it wasn't fair that it had to happen to her. It was the hardest thing, I think, that I have ever done in my life, but I was there with Aunt Betty to help her pack away Bobby's things . It was a moment in my life that I will never forget. We cried, but we also laughed that day in Bobby's room, and I think that was the day that brought us even closer than we already were. I am so grateful to have had that time with her, and I cherish every memory of that day, even though it was so sad, yet happy. It's just indescribable.
Ten years, and 1 day shy of the anniversary of her father's passing, Aunt Betty received terrible news. Her 7 year old grandson, Brandon, had been in a terrible car crash in Georgia. He was in the front seat of the car, wearing his seatbelt, when the car collided head-on with a truck. Brandon's mother died instantly, and his little brother in the back seat was also injured, but not severly. As soon as Aunt Betty got the news, she rushed to be by his side. Brandon was in a coma for quite a long time and eventually came out of it. He came out with severe brain damage. The impact caused his brain to pretty much bounce around in his skull, and this causing damage to his brain stem. He was paralyzed, and the dr.'s kept telling Aunt Betty that there was little hope for him, and that she shouldn't get her hopes up. He would never be able to walk, or speak, and he'd have to be tube fed. He'd be a "vegetable".
Aunt Betty's son, Brandon's father, just walked away. He had just met a woman, a few months before, and he packed up and left for Missouri. Brandon was eventually put into my aunt's care, and when he was "well" enough, he was placed in her home, and she was granted guardianship. Brandon needed constant care, and who was there to do it? Aunt Betty! She had to learn how to take care of him, and she did and still does. He is now eating and swallowing. Something the dr.'s said he'd never do. Being deaf before the accident, he has re-learned some signs to communicate with her. If it weren't for her, I'm not sure what would've happened to him. His own father turned his back on him, but Aunt Betty made sure that he would be with her and he would get the care and love he needs and deserves. She did all of this without even thinking about how hard it would be for her and how much it would change her life. She is truly and amazing and selfless woman.
Not long ago, Aunt Betty told me how most women dread getting older and hate birthdays. She doesn't think that way at all. She thought that her time was up when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Every year, she not only gets older, but she gets another year with her family, and she is so grateful for that. She celebrates life, not just on her birthday, but everyday, and for that, I admire her.
So, Happy Birthday Aunt Betty! You are an inspiration to me, and I love you! I am so blessed to have you in my life, and I am truly grateful.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Is it Friday yet?
I must have typed and hit the backspace button 4 or 5 times now. I guess tonight I really don't have as much too say as I thought I did. I'm tired, but I don't feel like going to bed. I think a lot of it has to do with Brad not being home. He went to stay with my mom for a few days. He left on Tuesday, and will come home sometime on Friday. Friday won't come soon enough for me. I miss him!
I know he is in good hands, being with my mom. I am so much like my mom, that I know he's having a good time, but still I miss him.
I know he is in good hands, being with my mom. I am so much like my mom, that I know he's having a good time, but still I miss him.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Today was "kind of" better
I got a call this afternoon from my Aunt Betty wanting to know if we wanted to come down and help her eat some catfish. My uncle goes fishing almost every night for catfish, and he catches GIANT catfish. The one he caught last night was a small one, at 32"! I told her we'd be down to help her eat it. The way she makes it is sooooooo yummy!! Not only that, I don't really get to see her all that often and I really enjoy seeing her.
Of course, Dennis didn't go with. He never really does. He doesn't like going to visit anyone. It sometimes makes me mad that he doesn't want to do things like that with us, but at the same time if he'd go along, he'd be miserable and pesting to go home. I was just happy to get out of this house and happy to see my Aunt Betty.
It was kind of weird, but really nice, that 2 of my cousins' (Aunt Betty's kids') ex's were there for the cook-out. That should tell you what kind of place Aunt Betty's is. Everyone is always welcome and always invited. It's also great for the kids (Betty's grandkids) to see everyone together and getting along so well. I will have to tell her story someday. She is a remarkable woman!
As we were waiting for the fish to get done, we sat on the patio and watched the kids playing in the back yard. Corey and Collin went over to where some toys were in the corner of the yard. Corey sat on a Power Wheels Jeep and pretended to drive it. Collin quickly followed and sat on the one behind it. It was only seconds later that Collin was surrounded by bees! He then started screaming. My poor little boy had gotten stung! As I got closer to him, I could see a bee on his hand, stinging him pretty bad. I immediately took him into the house where Aunt Betty prepared a paste with baking soda and water. She put it on his fingers where it was obvious that he had been stung 2 times. He was crying, but it didn't last long. His fingers were so swollen that he couldn't even bend them, but since Aunt Betty put her magic stuff on them, he stopped crying and felt so much better. I felt so bad for him.
My uncle and my cousin got bee spray and sprayed the underside of the Power Wheels where the bees were coming from. They eventually flipped it over and that's when we saw how HUGE this bee's nest was. Collin was so lucky to walk away from that with only 2 stings. I don't like that my mind takes me there, but I imagined how much worse it could have been, and it just scares me.
After all of that, it was time to eat. As always, the catfish was delicious! We sat around for a while and chatted about almost everything. We were there for a few hours when I finally decided it was time to go. The kids were very dirty and tired, and I wanted to get home to see if Dennis had found any money. Before we left to go to my aunt's, he said he'd see if he could find someone to loan us some money. None of us could get a shower before we left, because as our luck would have it, we ran out of hot water this morning! We helped Aunt Betty with the clean-up, and then we were going to go home. I practically had to pull my kids out of there. I went there with 4 kids, but was leaving with only 3. They asked if Trevor would want to stay and go fishing with them tonight. Of course, he wanted to, and I certainly didn't mind, so I let him stay. (It's a minute past midnight now, and he's still not home!)
When I got home, I found out that Dennis had come up dry. I'm not even sure that he even tried to find someone to loan him money, because I know that he doesn't like to ask anyone. He's too embarrassed. When we don't have hot water to take a shower, I'm not too shy to ask! He scraped together $5 and went for kerosene. I got on the computer and e-mailed my mom. She'll be coming down tomorrow to pick up Bradley because he's going to spend a few days at her house. It wasn't long after I sent the e-mail that she called. Her boyfriend will loan us $50 till Friday. Ahhhh! Next week will be so much better because we don't have to make big payments on the bills like we did this week, so we will be able to pay him back and still have money left for food, kerosene, etc. It's just so frustrating.
Yesterday was a rough one for me. Today was sooooo much better (minus the bee stings, of course)!
Of course, Dennis didn't go with. He never really does. He doesn't like going to visit anyone. It sometimes makes me mad that he doesn't want to do things like that with us, but at the same time if he'd go along, he'd be miserable and pesting to go home. I was just happy to get out of this house and happy to see my Aunt Betty.
It was kind of weird, but really nice, that 2 of my cousins' (Aunt Betty's kids') ex's were there for the cook-out. That should tell you what kind of place Aunt Betty's is. Everyone is always welcome and always invited. It's also great for the kids (Betty's grandkids) to see everyone together and getting along so well. I will have to tell her story someday. She is a remarkable woman!
As we were waiting for the fish to get done, we sat on the patio and watched the kids playing in the back yard. Corey and Collin went over to where some toys were in the corner of the yard. Corey sat on a Power Wheels Jeep and pretended to drive it. Collin quickly followed and sat on the one behind it. It was only seconds later that Collin was surrounded by bees! He then started screaming. My poor little boy had gotten stung! As I got closer to him, I could see a bee on his hand, stinging him pretty bad. I immediately took him into the house where Aunt Betty prepared a paste with baking soda and water. She put it on his fingers where it was obvious that he had been stung 2 times. He was crying, but it didn't last long. His fingers were so swollen that he couldn't even bend them, but since Aunt Betty put her magic stuff on them, he stopped crying and felt so much better. I felt so bad for him.
My uncle and my cousin got bee spray and sprayed the underside of the Power Wheels where the bees were coming from. They eventually flipped it over and that's when we saw how HUGE this bee's nest was. Collin was so lucky to walk away from that with only 2 stings. I don't like that my mind takes me there, but I imagined how much worse it could have been, and it just scares me.
After all of that, it was time to eat. As always, the catfish was delicious! We sat around for a while and chatted about almost everything. We were there for a few hours when I finally decided it was time to go. The kids were very dirty and tired, and I wanted to get home to see if Dennis had found any money. Before we left to go to my aunt's, he said he'd see if he could find someone to loan us some money. None of us could get a shower before we left, because as our luck would have it, we ran out of hot water this morning! We helped Aunt Betty with the clean-up, and then we were going to go home. I practically had to pull my kids out of there. I went there with 4 kids, but was leaving with only 3. They asked if Trevor would want to stay and go fishing with them tonight. Of course, he wanted to, and I certainly didn't mind, so I let him stay. (It's a minute past midnight now, and he's still not home!)
When I got home, I found out that Dennis had come up dry. I'm not even sure that he even tried to find someone to loan him money, because I know that he doesn't like to ask anyone. He's too embarrassed. When we don't have hot water to take a shower, I'm not too shy to ask! He scraped together $5 and went for kerosene. I got on the computer and e-mailed my mom. She'll be coming down tomorrow to pick up Bradley because he's going to spend a few days at her house. It wasn't long after I sent the e-mail that she called. Her boyfriend will loan us $50 till Friday. Ahhhh! Next week will be so much better because we don't have to make big payments on the bills like we did this week, so we will be able to pay him back and still have money left for food, kerosene, etc. It's just so frustrating.
Yesterday was a rough one for me. Today was sooooo much better (minus the bee stings, of course)!
Sunday, July 03, 2005
An "Uggh" kind of weekend
It's Sunday night. I wish I could say the weekend went fast. It felt like a long one, and tomorrow being the 4th of July, I hope it goes fast too.
I knew, going into the weekend, that it probably wasn't going to be a good one. Here it is, it's only Sunday (not far from Monday), and we are dirt poor already! I'm glad tomorrow is a holiday because it means that there will be one less day for Dennis to need gas to get to work.
Earlier today, we decided to go for a walk on a nature trail out at Beltzville State Park. I thought it would be a good idea, since it was something we could do as a family that would cost us nothing. I felt it might do Dennis some good too, since he's been stressing pretty bad about his job lately. The walk was nice, even though we took a wrong turn and ended up walking pretty far out of the way and off of the trail. Not a big deal, it was good exercise! As we walked the trail, all Dennis really talked about was his job and how he should maybe try and find a new one. One that pays more and has plenty of overtime. He loved the overtime when he first started at this place and loved that he could go and buy things that we needed when we needed them.
As I sit here tonight, I feel alone, ashamed, embarrassed, depressed, and sick. I have tons of laundry in piles in the laundry room, and it will have to wait until Friday. I don't even think we have enough clothing to make it through a week. Our hot water will not last until then either. Every Friday, Dennis buys $12 worth of kerosene to dump into the oil tank for heat and hot water. We obviously don't need the heat right now, but we do need the hot water, and thankfully the $12 lasts us the week.
I'm so tired of this struggle. I don't like to live like this, yet I do nothing to change it. I should be able to go out and get a job. Dennis really doesn't want me to until the boys go to school. That's 2 years away!!! How will we ever make it???? I had the perfect job, working at home. My darling brother is making sure that I don't get it back. I know I shouldn't dwell on this, but it really upsets me since I've bent over backwards many, many times for my brother only for him to do this to me. My brother laughs and thinks it is funny that he is basically taking food off of our table. We are a family of 6, and he is a family of 3, with 2 of them working. Not funny at all to me. He and Dennis work at the same place, yes, Dennis got him in there. My brother is mad at us right now, for reasons I'm unsure of. He doesn't come around here anymore, my boys have pretty much stopped asking about Uncle Ted. I know a lot of it is the psycho girlfriend he is with. She's even got him to stop getting his kids like he used to. I think my brother is mad too, because I still talk to his ex, my ex-sister in law. How else does he expect me to see my niece and nephew? She did nothing wrong to me, and she was my maid of honor when I got married. I should just pretend she doesn't exist?
I'm so tired of eating hot dogs or dippy eggs for supper. Dennis is in pain every day from heel spurs. His 2 year old work boots and his inability to afford the medication is why he has to put up with it. Dennis drove the van to work last week and will be driving it again this week because the tires on his car are not at all safe. The belts are showing and there is a buldge in the one. He can't even afford junk yard tires right now. I could go on and on, but it's so embarrassing.
We've been through so much in the past few months, that it's a wonder that we are still together. The stress in this house on a daily basis is just unreal. Dennis and I both agree that there is no such thing as divorce, and we both also agree that fighting about money won't solve anything. I am truly grateful for what we do have, there are some that have even less. This is yet another bump in the road, and we will get over it, hopefully soon. I think one of the only things that is saving my sanity right now is that the bills are being paid. We're paying more than normal because we have to try to catch up and prevent disconnection. Once they are caught up, the struggle won't be so bad. I'm hoping too, that I will start to receive the child support payments that I am owed from Trevor's dead-beat dad. I went an entire month without a payment and that certainly didn't help any. That's a whole other story!
I feel like I could just spill and spill my guts tonight, but I tend to ramble. I like the idea of having this blog to get this stuff off of my chest, but at the same time, I don't want the people that read it to think any less or differently of me. I'm trying pretend that no one else will read it, in hopes that the worries of what others think will go away. I struggle with these sorts of things and so many times I don't post because of my worries. I will be strong tonight and hit the post now button and will continue to just get this stuff off of my chest and hopefully it will make me feel better. Believe me, there is more to get out!! UGGH!!
I knew, going into the weekend, that it probably wasn't going to be a good one. Here it is, it's only Sunday (not far from Monday), and we are dirt poor already! I'm glad tomorrow is a holiday because it means that there will be one less day for Dennis to need gas to get to work.
Earlier today, we decided to go for a walk on a nature trail out at Beltzville State Park. I thought it would be a good idea, since it was something we could do as a family that would cost us nothing. I felt it might do Dennis some good too, since he's been stressing pretty bad about his job lately. The walk was nice, even though we took a wrong turn and ended up walking pretty far out of the way and off of the trail. Not a big deal, it was good exercise! As we walked the trail, all Dennis really talked about was his job and how he should maybe try and find a new one. One that pays more and has plenty of overtime. He loved the overtime when he first started at this place and loved that he could go and buy things that we needed when we needed them.
As I sit here tonight, I feel alone, ashamed, embarrassed, depressed, and sick. I have tons of laundry in piles in the laundry room, and it will have to wait until Friday. I don't even think we have enough clothing to make it through a week. Our hot water will not last until then either. Every Friday, Dennis buys $12 worth of kerosene to dump into the oil tank for heat and hot water. We obviously don't need the heat right now, but we do need the hot water, and thankfully the $12 lasts us the week.
I'm so tired of this struggle. I don't like to live like this, yet I do nothing to change it. I should be able to go out and get a job. Dennis really doesn't want me to until the boys go to school. That's 2 years away!!! How will we ever make it???? I had the perfect job, working at home. My darling brother is making sure that I don't get it back. I know I shouldn't dwell on this, but it really upsets me since I've bent over backwards many, many times for my brother only for him to do this to me. My brother laughs and thinks it is funny that he is basically taking food off of our table. We are a family of 6, and he is a family of 3, with 2 of them working. Not funny at all to me. He and Dennis work at the same place, yes, Dennis got him in there. My brother is mad at us right now, for reasons I'm unsure of. He doesn't come around here anymore, my boys have pretty much stopped asking about Uncle Ted. I know a lot of it is the psycho girlfriend he is with. She's even got him to stop getting his kids like he used to. I think my brother is mad too, because I still talk to his ex, my ex-sister in law. How else does he expect me to see my niece and nephew? She did nothing wrong to me, and she was my maid of honor when I got married. I should just pretend she doesn't exist?
I'm so tired of eating hot dogs or dippy eggs for supper. Dennis is in pain every day from heel spurs. His 2 year old work boots and his inability to afford the medication is why he has to put up with it. Dennis drove the van to work last week and will be driving it again this week because the tires on his car are not at all safe. The belts are showing and there is a buldge in the one. He can't even afford junk yard tires right now. I could go on and on, but it's so embarrassing.
We've been through so much in the past few months, that it's a wonder that we are still together. The stress in this house on a daily basis is just unreal. Dennis and I both agree that there is no such thing as divorce, and we both also agree that fighting about money won't solve anything. I am truly grateful for what we do have, there are some that have even less. This is yet another bump in the road, and we will get over it, hopefully soon. I think one of the only things that is saving my sanity right now is that the bills are being paid. We're paying more than normal because we have to try to catch up and prevent disconnection. Once they are caught up, the struggle won't be so bad. I'm hoping too, that I will start to receive the child support payments that I am owed from Trevor's dead-beat dad. I went an entire month without a payment and that certainly didn't help any. That's a whole other story!
I feel like I could just spill and spill my guts tonight, but I tend to ramble. I like the idea of having this blog to get this stuff off of my chest, but at the same time, I don't want the people that read it to think any less or differently of me. I'm trying pretend that no one else will read it, in hopes that the worries of what others think will go away. I struggle with these sorts of things and so many times I don't post because of my worries. I will be strong tonight and hit the post now button and will continue to just get this stuff off of my chest and hopefully it will make me feel better. Believe me, there is more to get out!! UGGH!!
Thursday, June 30, 2005
They grow too fast!
Tonight is the third night in a row that Corey and Collin went to bed on their own. Normally, Dennis and I would each carry one in to bed after they'd fall asleep in the living room. We did the same thing with the older two boys when they were younger, and I always felt like I was wrong in doing that, and that they should've learned from the very beginning to fall asleep in their room, on their own.
Tonight, too, they went to bed without a diaper. Since the start of potty training, they've been wearing a diaper only for bed. I took two diapers into their room and asked if they'd like to put it on and go to sleep, but they didn't want them. They are growing up, and although I thought they should've been trained sooner, I can't help but feel a little sadness that they are growing more and more independent every day. Don't get me wrong, I do hope they wake up dry in the morning. It's just so hard to let go of my babies.
I've decided too, that I would try to post a picture. It's of all four of my boys. Trevor, Bradley, Collin and Corey. This is my first attempt at posting a picture, so I'm hoping I do this right. (Did I mention that I have little confidence in myself?) lol If it works, I will probably go nuts and post many more pictures. I absolutely love taking pictures, and I can prove it!
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