I need something to calm me down

Seriously. I think I should see a doctor. It would not be surprised if all of what's going on doesn't send me completely over the edge!! Just the thought of it all had me a sobbing mess today (and a little yesterday, too!).

Tomorrow is the first day of school. Trevor's "first day as a Senior in high school", Brad's "first day as a 6th grader", and Corey and Collin's "very first day of school". I'm tearing up as I type this! Yikes! I guess, I'm most nervous for Corey and Collin. Well, mostly Collin. He is the least mature. I can't help but place the blame on myself. I just can't let go. (He is the youngest, afterall!)

I'm hoping, that once they are in school for a time, I can look back at this post and laugh at how worried I am (was) for nothing. I'm hoping, in posts to come, that I can write about how great they are doing.

For now, these are my thoughts and/or concerns:

Collin is least mature. He doesn't like to color. He sometimes has a hard time staying on task. He can be quite shy. He speaks softly and quickly. He angers easily. He wants to do what he wants when he wants.

Corey is more outspoken. It's sometimes hard to keep him quiet. I really don't think he'll have a hard time in school. He is quick to learn and not afraid to try new things. He is the "papa bear" type that thinks he knows what's best for everyone around him. He likes to give orders.

I will be doing this all on my own tomorrow. Dennis is going to NJ with his job and won't be home until Tuesday night. Even though it is only an "overnight" thing, I don't like it.

I'm just not ready for all of this. I feel ill.

TGIF

It's finally Friday! I'm so glad this week is over. What a week it's been. There's just been too much going on, here, in the Moyer house. Yikes!

A re-cap of the past week:

****MONDAY: Dennis stayed home from work. He's been so sick lately and one part or another of his face has been swelling. It's hard to keep a good man down, and even harder to witness it when it does happen. This was the day that Dennis was to give his notice at work that he was moving on to another employer.

The boys and I waited for a phone call at 9am from the Guidance Counselor, but never received it. I called the school and the woman I spoke to offered to give us a tour of the building my boys were to attend. I wasn't all that excited, but I wanted to get it over with. Still gritting my teeth at the idea of them going to Shull David and in a 2-year kindergarten. We went, we saw, we played on the playground. That is, until Collin decided he had to go to the bathroom! Since the hospital is in plain view of this playground, we decided to run over there real quick and we hoped to sneak a peek of Trevor or Aunt Chrissy working. Lucky us, we saw both of them and the boys each got a little snack pack of Oreos, too! After our little visit, it was back to the playground for a quick slide and then to the car and to head home.

I had an appointment at the dr, but ended up not being able to see him. The insurance that we have wasn't one that he accepts. UGH! I'll have to call when Dennis gets insurance again, and just pray that it's something the dr accepts.

After supper, I took my bike out for a ride. (When I say bike, I don't mean motorcycle. There's a lot of pedalling to do!) It was nice to get away just for a few minutes. It's been sooooo long since I rode my bike. I was very close to getting off and pushing on the first hill (ok, tiny incline) but I saw some people out and was too embarassed. I swear, if it would've been dark outside, you could've seen the flames shooting from my knees. OUCH!

****TUESDAY: Nothing too exciting, other than Dennis made it to work and gave his notice. It went well and there were no hard feelings on either side. It's just something Dennis had to do. It was getting too costly to work there.

****WEDNESDAY: Scouts night. Took Brad to scouts and then went over to Weissport. Aunt Linda wasn't home and I didn't want to pest Chrissy again. I pested her last week. I stopped in at Dad's. I haven't been there in a while. When I got there, Dad just came home from work, had a bath and was ready to eat supper. He'd be going to bed after eating because he was going back out at 11pm. I didn't want to stay long and keep him from his supper and slumber, but we did get to talk for just a bit. He gave me shirts for the boy that he and Marilyn picked up when they went to Washington, D.C. recently. I thought Corey and Collin's were cute, "Born to be wild". LOL

I had more time to kill before picking Brad up from scouts. It would've been foolish to drive all the way home and have to turn around and leave, so I just decided to wait in the parking lot. I went through a few things in my purse and read the book to my camera to kill the time. As I waited, some other parents came for their boys. I'm not one for starting conversations, so I sat there trying to coax myself to get out of the van and at least go and say hello. Finally, I got up the nerve and went over to say hello to *Sally* (not her actual name). We got to talking and I told her about my boys and the whole Prep-K thing. She then filled my ears with some very important information. It seems as though *Sally* had been through the same thing! She gave me some very useful information and told me to put up a fight and not to give up! She knew, too, that my boys didn't need the 2 year program. She pointed me in the right direction for my "ammo" and told me to call the principal in the morning. Another mom that was standing there told me not to even bother with the Guidance Counselor. If only I had known this sooner!

When I got home that night, I did some research and prepared myself for the next day. I had plenty of notes and gave a lot of thought to what I'd say. I had to make the call the next day because time was running out! Orientation was coming up at the beginning of next week!

****THURSDAY: I made my call, only to find out that the principal wouldn't be available until TUESDAY! Tuesday would be too late! So, I called *Sally* and she recommended the Superintendent. I called the Superintendent at 9:30am and spoke to his secretary. She told me he was in a meeting and would call me back. So I waited. And waited. At 1:10pm, I called again. I left another message. I called again at 1:50pm because I thought they were only in until 2pm. I wanted to know what was going on, since I was running out of time, I needed this taken care of ASAP (today!). The secretary told me he was looking over my boys' scores, etc. and she couldn't guarantee that he'd be calling me back today! GRRRR!! I was not at all happy. I did find out that they'd be in until 2:30pm. I asked her to please call me back and at least let me know that he needed more time and to give me a rough idea as to what time he'd be calling me on Friday. She said she'd do that. At 2:25pm, I called back, and this time I wasn't so nice. I didn't even get to speak to the Super or his secretary. The woman I spoke to didn't know what to tell me. I was furious!! 2:30pm came and went and I heard nothing.

Finally, around 4:45pm, I got a call from the Superintendent. He did apologize for taking so long to get back to me. He didn't really have anything more for me. He told me that he was having an Asst. Principal and the Guidance Counselor (grrr!) go over my boys' scores and they'd call me in the morning to discuss this with me.

At 8pm, I had to take Brad to the park in town for the "Concert under the stars". As part of a merit badge requirement, he was to attend a concert. He had to leave there knowing what the encore performance was, to prove that he had been there. When we got there, I thought the rest of the scouts weren't coming. Then, *Sally* and her scout came. They sat with us and we all were enjoying the concert. In between pieces, *Sally* and I got to do some talking. It was the second to last piece when something "clicked" to *Sally*. She had more "ammo" for me, and it was going to be easy to attain. It was published in the newspaper and I could get it online!

We got home and I hopped onto the computer. (Well, you know what I mean). Found the info and printed it out. I was sooooo ready for the call in the morning!!

****FRIDAY: (Today! :) ) I got the call! It was the Asst. Principal. She was all nice at first, and as the conversation went on, I could sense that she was going to try to talk me into keeping the boys in Prep-K. I shot down just about everything she said. Then, I pulled out my "ammo". She was a bit surprised, and even told me that! She told me my boys' actual scores from the Kindergarten screening. They needed 85 points (out of 118) to "pass" and be enrolled in K. Corey got an 85 and Collin a 78. Not too far away! The boys scored very high, academically, but they felt they needed the Prep program for their fine motor skills. They didn't cut along a dotted line. The Asst. P's story was just a tad different than the conversation I had with the GC.

Towards the end of our conversation, she told me that the GC just walked in and he felt comfortable with putting them in Kindergarten. We are to go to the orientation at Mahoning, and we should get there a little early to fill out some paperwork. We'd have to do this so we couldn't hold them responsible down the road. I was also asked to not spread the word about this because they didn't want a bunch of parents calling them to do this for their children. HUH??? Unreal, and kind of sad. I wonder how many more are being held back so they can keep the Prep-K program going? Ugh.

Anyway, we are all happy as clams. Normally quite and weak, I stood up to them and didn't take no for an answer. I won this one for my boys, and I'm sure they will do great in Kindergarten, where they belong! WOOHOO!

*******

Yikes! I had to scroll back to make sure that I didn't say that I'd make this brief. I have to learn to log in earlier at night so I have time to post each day in it's own post! LOL There's even a lot that I didn't mention. (imagine that!)

I'm trying

I'm trying so hard to snap out of this "funk" I've been in. It's not easy, especially when things go the way they did today. Ugh!

Dennis stayed home from work again. He was sick to his stomach and is swelling up again. Not as bad as it was before, but it's obvious that the meds he's been taking for a little over a week aren't working.

I had an appointment today with Dr. Miller. I've been having some problems and it was time for my "annual" anyway. I didn't have the money to go today, so I called ahead and asked if it would be alright for them to bill me for my co-pay. It would be fine.

I got to my appt. a few minutes early. There was no one in the waiting room. That's not something you see often, but I went to the window anyway to let them know I was there. I was asked to fill out two papers and make any corrections to my insurance information. As it turned out, I wasn't there in about 16 months, so my info did change. I filled out the out the new info and handed her the ins. card. She made an unusual face and then told me that the dr doesn't accept that insurance!! I wanted to cry. It takes a lot to get me to the dr to begin with and now that I finally made the appointment, I was turned away. I asked how much it would cost me out-of-pocket. The visit alone would be a little over $100!!! I had to cancel.

So, now, here I am. I don't know what to do? I don't want to go to any other dr. I've been going to Dr. Miller since I started "womanhood". He delivered ALL of my boys. I wouldn't be comfortable going to someone else. UGH!!!!

It's now another game of "wait and see". I will have to wait until Dennis gets his insurance at his new job (that could be 3 months!) and hopefully Dr. Miller will accept it. I will call the office as soon as I know and hopefully get an appointment then.

I didn't even make it all the way out of the building and I could feel the tears coming. I'm trying so hard to stay positive and to be happy, but it's getting more and more difficult. All I can think about now, is, what's next?

No pain, no gain?

I took the boys to the playground today. They wanted to play on the playground at Shull David, but it was too hot. No shade. So, we went to the Grove instead. How could I say no? They had just been to the Dr. and got their shots they needed to start school. The playground helped because they quickly forgot the pain. I'm sure it will come back to Collin, though, because he seemed to mean it when he told me that he'd never go back to the dr's again. lol

Rewind, back to the Dr. visit.... The boys are growing like weeds and in great health! :) Here are their stats at 5 1/2 years old:

Corey: 48lbs, 46 3/4" tall
Collin: 45lbs, 46" tall

They are quite tall for their age and weight, and that's fine. Much better than being overweight.

The receptionist got a good laugh at my little "cheaters". Collin was first to do the eye exam. He was to tell the dr which way (up or down) the "legs" were going on the letter "E" on the chart. As the dr got lower, it was getting harder for him to see. At first, he tried sneaking a little closer to the chart, but the dr caught on. He tried again, but this time, the receptionist caught on....as it got tougher, Corey whispered the answers to his brother! The dr did the exam again, this time with his brother in another room. He did fine, and so did his brother.

Getting better.....

Today was so much better than yesterday. Really, could it have gotten any worse? lol

I took Trevor to work in the morning and called the dentist at 8am. The soonest they could get us in was 4:30pm, but they'd call if there were any cancellations. So, I stayed offline and waited most of the day for a call that never came. We went at 4:30. Corey did really well with the x-rays. I told him they'd take pictures but he didn't have to smile, he'd just have to sit very still, and he did! The dentist was so impressed and told Corey that since he was so good, he could go and get a prize from the prize box while we waited for the x-rays to be developed. Dr. Sherry made sure to tell Corey that he's never allowed anyone to get a prize until the very end of the visit. Corey walked proudly to the box. He picked a bubble necklace shaped like a star. He played with the train table while I talked to the dentist. We'll go back in 2 weeks to see how it looks. If it gives him pain, we are to call, but otherwise, the tooth will stay there until it pushes out on it's own. Dr. Sherry told me that he must have hit "just right" for it to jam up there the way it did, and for it to happen to just one tooth was amazing. (I'm more amazed that I am still somewhat keeping my sanity! ;) )

Dennis is looking a bit better today, but his lips are still a bit swollen. The meds are making him sleepy and more irritable than normal.

We went to K-Mart tonight and put some things on layaway. It's a start and I'll be happy once the stuff is picked up and my kids won't be going to school naked. lol

Now that today is almost over, I feel a little better and I am looking forward to tomorrow being even better! :)

Never a dull moment..

The day started off with me thinking I woke up very early. Dennis was still in the bed. I got up and looked at the clock....it was 8:30am. I let him sleep and started my day.



As it turns out, Dennis woke up this morning and his face was VERY swollen. He didn't want to wake me, but was a bit worried (and freaked out!) so he went to the ER. When I saw him, his lips were still pretty big and I could see that his nose and cheeks looked a little "odd". So, anyway, the ER told him it was probably some type of allergic reaction. To what, we don't know? He was at the hospital for a little while, they gave him something in an IV. He was given 2 prescriptions and told to take Benedryl. He was NOT to drive to or go to work today.

I called the school to find out why Corey and Collin would need Prep-K. It pretty much boils down to maturity, or their lack of it. Corey did a little better than Collin and was borderline for regular Kindergarten. They'll have to go to Shull David. :( So, now, it all depends on what happens in the first five weeks of school. They will be re-evaluated and if they do good, they will go to Mahoning for "regular" Kindergarten.

Mr. Blakeslee brought something else to my attention that I hadn't even thought of. If Corey continues to do well, and Collin doesn't, they will advance Corey to Kindergarten, but Collin will stay in Prep. They will stay at Shull David to keep them together. Then, next year, Corey will move on to 1st grade, Collin would go to Kindergarten at Mahoning. Yes, they'd still be twins, but they'd be a year apart in school. I'm not sure what that would do to Collin's self-esteem? All I can do is hope that it doesn't happen that way!

The rest of the night was going alright. Same old, same old. That is..... until......Corey tripped over a boot in the dining room. He fell and went face-first into a container (holds the play-doh stuff). When he came over to me, I thought he knocked his tooth out. It wasn't there, as far as I could tell. I'm not good at blood or gore, so I ran into the bedroom and woke poor Dennis up. (He handles gore, and I handle pukes and poops! ;) ).

Upon closer inspection, Dennis discovered that the tooth was still in there, but it was shoved up his gums!!! YIKES!!!! He told me to call the ER and see what I should do. So, I made the call. They told me there was really nothing they could do since there is no dentist there. They couldn't give me any advice without seeing him, so they let it up to me to decide if I wanted to take him in. I decided we'll just call the dentist in the morning. Dennis gave him tylenol for the pain, and he took it like a real trooper! He went back to playing on the computer and then went to bed without any complaints. Poor kid. :(

I've been in such a "funk" lately, and really didn't need so much trauma in one day. I'm tired and just want to have a good cry and go to bed.

Little surprised and a little disappointed....

The letters that we've been waiting for finally came in the mail today. Letters from the school, stating where and when Corey and Collin will be going to school. I wasn't expecting what I read. The boys will be going to Prep-Kindergarten, and not "regular" Kindergarten.

When they were tested back in May, the teachers doing the testing told me that the boys did really well. They didn't pull me aside and tell me what to work on until August like they did some of the others. That's why I was surprised.

I was disappointed when I found out that they will have to go to Shull David, and not Mahoning Elementary. :( I was hoping they'd go to Mahoning, close to home. No, Shull David isn't all that far away, but they are unfamiliar with SD like they are with Mahoning. They've been to Mahoning many times when Bradley went there. They are even known by the teachers and some of the staff there. I feel sad, in a way, too, since every time we drive past the school, we'd tell them that it's the school they'll be going to. :(

I plan on making a phone call on Monday. I'd like to know why they decided my boys need the 2 year Kindergarten? When Brad started school, he didn't know his alphabet, couldn't write his name, and he didn't even know how to hold a pencil. He was in the "regular" Kindergarten, and did VERY well. (By 3rd grade he was being tested to be put in the "advanced" classes!)

According to the letter, Prep-K doesn't necessisarily mean they will do 2 years of K. They will test after 5 weeks (sometime in Oct) and then do a re-evaluation to see if they could go to K. I want to know if they'd stay at SD or if they'd be transferred to Mahoning? I was thinking, too, that maybe we could try it the opposite way. If they don't do well enough in K, then put them in Prep?

Maybe my emotional ties to Mahoning is what's getting in my way? I went there, and so did Trevor and Brad. It kind of saddens me that C&C won't be. I'm sure they'd go to Mahoning next year, but I'd kind of like them to stay with the same group they started with, if that makes any sense?

I had my heart set on being more involved this year. Since I make the yearbook for Mahoning, I was hoping to be there and to be able to take pics for the yearbook. Not only that, I found it very difficult to put together a yearbook for a school that none of my boys attended. Don't get me wrong, no matter what school they attend, I DO plan on being involved. It's just now I will have to make myself familiar with a different school. I'm not good at that sort of thing. Ugh.

I guess, all I can do is wait and see what they tell me when I call on Monday. And to think, my biggest worry until this was if I should separate them or keep them together.